When I first heard about something called the Keystone Pipeline I thought “Cool, we’re gonna start shipping America’s best beer to the rest of the world. How nice.”
Since then my hopes for a beer pipeline (which would’ve rocked!) have crumpled like a can against the forehead. But I’ve been following the pipeline debate with interest.
Some elements of the dispute are entirely predictable. For example, proponents are touting job creation (no surprise there). But according to Newsweek, a State Department review found that once construction jobs dried up, the pipeline would create only 35 permanent jobs.
Yes, we know that the Denver Broncos players are looking for new careers, but c’mon.
Other parts of the debate are quite surprising and unexpected. The developer of the pipeline is a Canadian company called TransCanada. Before moving into the pipeline business the company ran a dating website for Canadian Trans-Am aficionados, hence the connection to oil and accidents. Apparently, this hometown corporate connection has frothed our northern neighbors into a fit of patriotic pride. There’s now a petition circulating on Canadian blogs pushing for a change to the Canadian national anthem. Proponents want the song to now start this way:
“Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee…
Stick that pipe into their middle, like bad proctology!!”
As an artist I don’t care about disastrous impacts on the climate. That’s for scientists to worry about. I don’t want this pipeline to pan out because I’ve always liked that song.
I don’t understand this because I’m far away but please keep this pipe away from Thirsty Dave!
I’m with Mike. I think the beer pipeline holds far more economic possibilities
Forget the song, let’s get back to the beer pipeline!
That and coffee should be a utility.