Back Again

If you still doubt the reality of reincarnation, consider this: the great comedic actor Chris Farley died in 1997. Shortly thereafter, in 2000, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford won his first City Council seat. Yup, Chris returned in a big way, and he’s playing his greatest role ever. It’s Oscar-worthy.

Until I started believing in reincarnation, I never understood actresses and supermodels. Not their jobs, because they’re great gigs and everyone does something for a living. What I never understood was all the attention-seeking outside the job – the People Magazine covers, the bikini-pic tweets and Facebook posts, the non-stop soaking up of attention.

But a while ago I was on a flight to Connecticut. A stewardess was standing in the aisle demonstrating the safety procedures. I always watch these because, as a writer, I’ve known what it’s like to be ignored (if you’re still reading this, thank you, I’m grateful). Not surprisingly, very few people on the plane were paying attention.

And it occurred to me – actresses and supermodels must be reincarnated former flight attendants. And in this lifetime they’re saying “Not this time. I am not being ignored this time around. Not a fucking chance!”

This applies to men as well. Remember how there used to only be a handful of great leading men in films? Now there’s oodles of them. And what started happening a while back? Yup, men started being flight attendants. This is no coincidence.

But the best thing about past lives? You’ve always got someone to blame for your screw-ups.

Farley was the best of his generation, a genius, and Tommy Boy is a classic. I’m glad he’s back. And I still think flight attendants are the coolest, given how they smile and put up with the rest of us.