To avoid epic fails on Father’s Day, there are plenty of things NOT to give your spouse or your father on their big day. The following is a list of 10 items to avoid next time you’re out shopping:

1)  Cologne bought out of the trunk of someone’s car on the side of the road.

2)  Tickets to a Barry Manilow concert.

3)  A yearly subscription to Orthopedic Monthly.

4)  A box of Rogaine and discount coupons for hair plugs.

5)  A matching set of His and Her bejeweled cremation urns.

6)  Blue underwear depicting a train across the front with the slogan, “Blow My Horn!” Male thongs are an equally disturbing gift.

7)  A case of non-alcoholic beer.

8)  A jar of pickled pigs feet in habanero pepper sauce. Or a can of beans, for that matter.

9)  A tee shirt that reads: “Just because I have man boobs doesn’t mean that I am lactating!”

10)  Do not sign him up for the constipation research study advertised on a late night infomercial or the Buy-One-Get-One sale on Fleet enemas at the drugstore.

     Still worried about what to get that special man on Father’s Day? Show him this list, then offer him a silk, SpongeBob tie and a six pack of generic beer brewed by hog farmers living near a sewage plant. He’ll thank you for the best Father’s Day ever!


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19 thoughts on “FATHER’S DAY FAILS”

  1. Oh, but the urn is such a PRACTICAL gift!

    If he decides he doesn’t want to be cremated after all, he can always use it as a used condom dispenser.

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