Happy Valentines Day

It’s Valentine’s Day. And you know that means – it’s time for highly unqualified people like me to offer advice on romance. But honestly, I want everyone to have a great day.  I’m here to help in whatever little way I can. For that reason I’ve decided to post a relevant excerpt from my book So Much Time, So Little Change. So without any further ado, here are a sweet sixteen…

Hints That He Might Not Be The One

• He proposed during your performance review at work.
• His investment fund hasn’t had a single negative quarter since 2005.
• Everyone was dressed in camouflage at his father’s wedding.
• He wears animal skins and commands people to repent.
• He drives a car with no hood over the engine. On purpose.
• He bikes every weekend with a buddy—on a tandem.
• He drives a Ferrari, but lives in a tiny apartment.
• He’s unaware that his tattoo is actually misspelled.
• He raced into your burning house to save your dog, but came out with his PlayStation.
• God told him that white men are meant to rule the entire earth.
• He has a million dollar Picasso hanging in the reception area at his startup business.
• He wants to a buy a house near Hooters because “it will help keep property taxes low.”
• He thinks Beast Of Burden would be a great slow-dance song at your wedding.
• He knows how to enter and start a car using only a screwdriver.
• He seemed really nice on that Reality TV show.
• He’s related.