It’s Valentine’s Day. And you know that means – it’s time for highly unqualified people like me to offer advice on romance. But honestly, I want everyone to have a great day. I’m here to help in whatever little way I can. For that reason I’ve decided to post a relevant excerpt from my book So Much Time, So Little Change. So without any further ado, here are a sweet sixteen…
Hints That He Might Not Be The One
- He proposed during your performance review at work.
- His investment fund hasn’t had a single negative quarter since 2005.
- Everyone was dressed in camouflage at his father’s wedding.
- He wears animal skins and commands people to repent.
- He drives a car with no hood over the engine. On purpose.
- He bikes every weekend with a buddy—on a tandem.
- He drives a Ferrari, but lives in a tiny apartment.
- He’s unaware that his tattoo is actually misspelled.
- He raced into your burning house to save your dog, but came out with his PlayStation.
- God told him that white men are meant to rule the entire earth.
- He has a million dollar Picasso hanging in the reception area at his startup business.
- He wants to a buy a house near Hooters because “it will help keep property taxes low.”
- He thinks Beast Of Burden would be a great slow-dance song at your wedding.
- He knows how to enter and start a car using only a screwdriver.
- He seemed really nice on that Reality TV show.
- He’s related.
Ha! That’s awesome!
This is a great list! I think it encompasses everything a person might look for in a mate. Just so funnY!
Frankly, I wish I knew how to enter and start a car using only a screwdriver. That’s what all Jack Russell Terrier owners say once they’ve been locked out of their own car by a bouncing dog that jumped on the lock.
My tattoo is correctly spelled, it’s just not in a recognisable or real language.
I’d watch out for the skinhead, the relative and the animal skins guy, but everyone else just looks like a normal New Yorker. 😉 😀