I think I know what the root cause of my problem is.

Allow me to present a hypothetical situation. If you were attracted to a tree, you may very well think that it’s a fairly unusual attraction to have and of course, you would be right. You might want to keep it to yourself until you have a chat with said tree and even if the tree reciprocates your feelings, you still may not want to go public with it. As there are some weird people out there, they may have some unusual reactions to your new-found relationship. As time goes by, you might develop affectionate nicknames for each other and you might begin to call the tree the “Angelina Jolie Tree”. This might be because the Angelina Jolie Tree has obviously spent some time and money in trying to mirror the famous actress and mother of many kids. The most obvious sign of this might be in the tree’s very full Botox induced lips, as can be seen below:

Things have been going really well lately. I realise I’m lucky to be in such a loving relationship and can deal with the constant shouts of “Tree hugger”, when we’re out in public. I’m not usually a jealous person and maybe I’m wrong but lately I’ve noticed what I can only call, competition for her affections: