Lucky

GOPjunk

A few years ago I held a job as cartographer. No, that’s not someone who wheels shopping carts back to a supermarket, it’s a person who makes maps. I worked for a state agency in Oregon updating digital property maps. So, if you’re an Oregonian who’s battling it out in court over a property dispute, I apologize.

Actually, I was good at the job. One day my boss was doing my performance evaluation. Our department had five levels of cartographers, and I was a “Cart 1” hoping to advance to the “Cart 2” level. But we were in a hiring and promotion freeze due to budget considerations.

My boss looked across the table with a frown and said “I really wish we could move you up a level, but we’ve got this freeze on. Someone above you would need to quit.”

This wasn’t reassuring. Most of the guys above me bitched and moaned about their recession-proof jobs that came with fully-paid health insurance. But they never quit.

My boss looked away for a moment and grinned.

“But there’s always a chance,” he continued. “When I was a Cart 1 we had a freeze on as well. But then a Cart 2 rode his motorcycle off the side of a bridge. That’s how I moved up.”

I sat there for a moment in total surprise. But then I recovered and said “That was nice of him, totally selfless.”

My boss chuckled and said “Yes, turnover takes on many forms.”

I thought of that after reading about the guy in the photo above. He was a Republican County Committee Chairman in an East Coast state. But then he used social media to send a picture of his junk to some woman. When word got out, it was time to step down.

Somewhere in New Jersey Chris Christie is fuming and shouting “And they’re pissed because I closed a damn bridge?!!!!”

We obviously need better laws around this stuff. It should be a misdemeanor for a politician to send this kind of photo without adding the caption: “My name is Bob, and I approve of this dick.”

Anyways, the smiling woman at the sexter’s side has moved into the Chairman spot. Yes, my boss was right – turnover does take on many forms. And so does our so-called “success.” We often forget how just much luck factors into advancement in this life.

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3 thoughts on “Lucky”

  1. If you’re ever in a position again where you need someone to quit, let me know. Sugartastic Daddy John specializes in that line of work!

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