Obituaries to Die For

Recently, I was helping a friend look up obituaries and we noticed that obituaries have transformed. They are no longer just facts about a person’s birth, death and final arrangements with a few accolades thrown in. No. Now, they are glowing tributes to the deceased that feature flowery descriptions of a life that might or might not have been lived.  In other words, as with everything in our society, it is a competition set out to prove that “My dead relative is better than your dead relative.”

Hey, I am not against competition or the entrepreneurial spirit, so I have decided to start Over-The-Top Obituaries that will target  grieving relatives and the not-yet-deceased who like to plan ahead. The customized obituaries will  make mourners cry, smile and say, “I never knew he was such a good person!” or  “She had a heart of gold–who knew?”   The business slogan says it all: “We guarantee that you will come up smelling like a rose when it’s time for you to push up daisies.”  Anyone interested?  We have a lifetime satisfaction guarantee.

By: Erin Nekervis
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8 thoughts on “Obituaries to Die For”

  1. Yeh, and why do they always assume the dearly departed have gone to “meet loving savior.” They can’t be sure these people were or were not gambling, masturbating shoe-sniffers in a secret life.

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