I’ve never heard the music of Edvard Grieg and I don’t necessarily want to, but that’s neither here nor there and is totally irrelevant to this story. Thinking about it now, I’m not sure why I even mentioned it but I have and it’s out there so let’s just try to be grown-up about it and soldier on like a welder or a solder or something. So there I was, on stage at a gig for the Prevention of Sarcasm Against Penguins and the reality of the situation hit me, the way a taxi driver might deliver the line “I’m not racist myself but what about those Eastern Europeans, coming over here, taking our car spaces and our women?”. I had a solitary joke about a teacher and a school of fish which lasted about a minute. When I used my abacus to subtract one minute from 45 minutes, I was left up the creek with 44 minutes and nothing that could remotely be classed as entertainment. If only Jill Y had asked me to cut the dogs hair, before the gig, I could have easily got 44 minutes of material out of it:
I’m really jealous you were asked to speak at the Prevention of Sarcasm Against Penguins benefit. They didn’t ask me to speak and really gave me the cold shoulder.
#SorryAboutThePun
I wouldn’t be too jealous Lisa. I get asked to these things because I say lots of really stupid things that usually end with the law being called. That and the fact that I started the Prevention of Sarcasm Against Penguins group myself because I feel really strongly about it! My other hobbies include my abacus and the number 5,853!
This Van Dog portrait is fantastic.
I won’t have my good name associated with that Van Dog!
Now, that’s true art!
I doubt if anyone can put a price on it. Well, a price with any monetary value anyway!
I think this must be a scare tactic for the real dog! This is what happens if you don’t sit still!
I think I’ll use the pretend dog to teach my imaginary kids stuff!
Evidence that some people’s talents just don’t get the attention they deserve.
It’s a social comment on the perplexing issues of sarcasm against penguins!