Some days you’re in that kind of mood when EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY is a jagoff.
Including the gas pump at the local self-serve station.
As civilized humans, we expect a few basic things out of life:
1) Hot water in the shower every morning
2) Morning traffic reports “on the fours” and “weather on the 10’s”
3) The NFL owns our lives whether we admit it or not
4) Mr. McFeely from Mister Rogers Neighborhood will ALWAYS look the same even more than Dick Clark ever did
5) No matter how alone you think you are at your work place, the split second you squeak out a fart, someone will walk near you.
6) Waking up each morning knowing that you have a thumb that you can sneak up into the inside of your nostril to scrape out those dry night time “crusties.“
One thing I would add to this list of things that I would LIKE to take for granted is … the clicking-thingy on the gas pump nozzle that lets ya fill our tank WITH NO HANDS!
Example: I go to the local gas pumps to fill up. In the meantime, I need to make calls into the sports talk shows AND catch up on my tweets and texts that I couldn’t do at the last red light. Without the clicking-thingy, I have to mess around holding the stupid gas nozzle trigger… can’t dial, can’t sit in the car and talk.. gotta stand their and squeeze that thing for the entire 15.6 gallons (FYI the tank holds 16 gallons and YES..I do this so often that our gas tank light bulb is probably going to burn out some day.)
Yep.. this probably DOES seem petty. But, when you’re having a bad day, everything and everyone is a jagoff.
Hey Sunoco, your gas station is SO high tech that the pump asks more questions than a CPA exam. It has a car wash, a code reader to get a discount, a card-swiper to pay without going inside, a way to order a sandwich, blah, blah, blah…but no 20-cent piece of metal to hold the gas trigger? Forget about selling the next kind of scratch-off lottery ticket or 19 kinds of iced tea and Gatorade, get some clicking-thingies, Ya Jagoffs!