Story Problems | HumorOutcasts

Story Problems

February 17, 2014

Sharpen your pencils, get out your slide rule, and see how you fare with these story problems.

  1. Three pigs had 5$ each. Five pigs had 3$ each. Where did they get all that money?
  2. I have six apples. Why don’t you have any apples?
  3. There are 11 people on a football team, nine people of a baseball field, eleven people on a field hockey side, five people on a basketball team, and one person on a checkers team. Why isn’t anyone playing soccer?
  4. Kirby the Cowboy had four horses on his ranch. On Saturday he took them all out for a Banana Split. How many scoops of ice cream did each horse get?
  5. A train was travelling from Atlanta to New York on Track A. The train left at 6:50 am. The trip was supposed to take seven hours but about one-hundred miles into the trip the train had to stop because there was a cow on the tracks. After they finally got the cow off of the tracks, the train started to go again but quickly stopped when it was discovered that seven of the passengers had wandered off to visit a pop-up gift shop that was being run by what suspiciously looked like two cows dressed as Mama and Eunice from the 1980’s television program Mama’s Family. With the shop accepting Groupon’s, at what time did the train finally arrive at its destination?

Noell Wolfgram Evans

My new short story - Going South - is part of the anthology For the Road published by the Columbus Creative Cooperative. I’m also a two-time winner of the Thurber Treat Award for humor writing and my plays have been produced everywhere from a New York City stage to a Louisville elevator.

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4 Responses to Story Problems

  1. February 19, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    It would be easier if I knew any of these people! 🙂
    I still use pencils occasionally, but I don’t know where my slide rule is anymore. It seems that pushing buttons have replaced both of these for the most part.

  2. February 18, 2014 at 7:03 am

    You would have been fun to take the SATs with!

  3. February 18, 2014 at 12:45 am


    That’s how I answered all story problems in high school. Surprisingly, I passed math with a solid C minus.

  4. Kathy Minicozzi
    February 18, 2014 at 12:17 am

    1. From their bank accounts.
    2. I didn’t buy any apples.
    3. What is this, Italy? Who plays soccer here?
    4. None. Horses don’t eat ice cream.
    5. Really late, but with several happy passengers.

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