Surgical Sympathy Cards



When a store bought card just won’t do…

One of my good friends was having a horrible time with her uterus. I won’t go into it, but it sure made me glad I

didn’t have one. When her doctor told her it had to come out, she was excited. She’d already had her kids and she

was sick of having periods. She couldn’t wait to get rid of it.

I couldn’t find a good hysterectomy sympathy card anywhere. So, being the sensitive guy that I am, I made my own.

When she woke up in her hospital room after surgery, this card was waiting for her.


Dear Uterless, (That’s not her real name)

My condolences to you on your loss.

I was so sorry to hear that your uterus didn’t make it.

I know that it’s little comfort now, but we need to remember

that your uterus had a rich and wonderful life.

We are but Mortals. We will all, someday,

make that lonely trip to pathology.

Take comfort in that I’m sure your uterus is in a far better place now.

A beautiful place, where your uterus can sing and jump and

play with all the other little uteri.

If you ever feel a void within, try and think of the good times you

and your uterus shared together.

Things will get better.

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7 thoughts on “Surgical Sympathy Cards”

  1. Good hysterectomy sympathy cards are notoriously hard to find and as much as I want to tie this in with a G-spot joke, I’m going to be all grown-up and un-Bill Y like and use lots of hyphens as I do so!

  2. I think you’re onto something! The Sorry Your Kidney’s Went Kaputt card, ingenious idea Mike!

    1. Yea….YEA! You’re right, Donna. I mean with all the “I’m Sorry, I didn’t know your fish tank would do that” cards I’ve bought from Hallmark…Yea…they should hire me.

  3. You walk a very fine line with medical humor. You have to be very careful and discerning before acting on any idea. Plus you only pick friends and or patients who actually have a sense of humor.

    That or a combination of having a sense of humor and being loaded to the gills on narcotics, with a side of hypnotics.

  4. It’s best to deliver these cards early, while the patients are still in their hospital beds and can’t get around — just in case they don’t take them well.

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