The Death of Bigfoot–Again | HumorOutcasts

The Death of Bigfoot–Again

January 7, 2014
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Let me start this off by asking the Bigfoot, or if you prefer “Squatch” people, not to send me hate mail. I am not saying I don’t believe in Bigfoot and I am not making fun of the many people who spend the best years of their lives hunting the hairy beast. Well, I sort of am making fun of them  but that’s just because if I am going to spend lots of money doing something fun, my fun would include tropical drinks, a warm beach and a five-star resort–not peeing in the woods in freezing temperatures to track down a mythical beast—but again, that’s just me.

Okay, here we go:  A new Bigfoot story is circulating around the internet. This time the self-proclaimed Bigfoot hunter Rick Dyer claims he not only has seen a Bigfoot but he killed one in 2012, and he has offered a picture as proof. He also has a grainy video on his YouTube channel showing the pre-deceased beast.  Dyer claims that he has in his possession the Bigfoot body. He will tour with the corpse in the near future, and he has already shown the body to about 130 people who are now diehard dead Bigfoot believers.

bigfootdead

Can it be finally true? And if it is, what will happen to the Bigfoot TV show?  Those people have been looking for years for Bigfoot. They seem to know everything about the creature including where he likes to sleep, his distinctive wail, what he likes to eat, the kind of women he dates, etc. Yes, they have found everything associated with Bigfoot except Bigfoot which has proven to be both a blessing and a curse. Not finding Bigfoot has kept them employed by whatever cable channel airs their show, but as each week goes by with no concrete evidence, the Bigfoot researchers look more and more—what’s that word I am looking for?  Crazy—yep, that’s the word.

Back to Dyer: He has claimed a Bigfoot kill before and it proved to be a hoax, but this time he says he is serious, and he has the scientific goods to prove it. What do I think? I’m going to believe Dyer.  Why? First, he looks sane in a psychopath  sort of way, and how many times can you drink from the  fraud well and not fall in? He has to know that if he is going to charge people, which he is, to view a corpse he claims is the real deal, and it turns out to be fake, he is going to get jail time or at least a hefty fine and that has to put a crimp in his future Bigfoot expeditions and video shoots.   Secondly, I would think, that sooner or later if one spends enough time in the woods, one has to hit the mother lode and find the beast.  Bigfoot is not exactly a petite creature. And if there are more than one Bigfoot, one of them is bound to show up and get caught.

My biggest problem with this story besides the fact that we are talking about Bigfoot is that we are talking about a dead Bigfoot. Why did Dyer have to kill him? Okay, he ate some of Dyer’s pork ribs which Dyer nailed to a tree to smoke him out. Frankly, if my husband saw those pork ribs, he would have gone after them too. Would he also be target practice for Dyer?  (Mental note: Don’t go camping with husband in the Bigfoot woods.) My guess if this does turn out to be true, the PETA people will be all over Dyer and not in a good way, and if there was a Mrs. Bigfoot, I smell a big fat civil suit heading toward the infamous hunter.  I wouldn’t be too surprised if a few law firms bid for this case.

 

Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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11 Responses to The Death of Bigfoot–Again

  1. Bill Y Ledden
    January 9, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    If you need a hand with hate mail Don Don’s, just say the word. I’ve become something of an expert in this field and other fields lately!

    So we have a dude that is claiming he murdered and not for the first time. Well there’s a law agains that!

  2. Deb Martin-Webster
    January 8, 2014 at 10:31 am

    Eh my friend Tom claims that he’s alive and well,living in the mountains of Western North Carolina. Of course Tom’s been known to toss a few back. 😉

  3. January 8, 2014 at 7:42 am

    You know, I’m a fairly good photographer and have a decent camera. If they really want to make people believe in their sightings, maybe they should take me along? ‘Cause whoever’s taking their photos has been drinking way too much caffeine.

  4. Kathy Minicozzi
    January 7, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    I was also wondering why he had to kill the poor beast.

    • January 8, 2014 at 7:06 am

      Yes, so unnecessary if this were true!

  5. January 7, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    Last week I was filmed acting a bit part in a Bigfoot movie in which I played an old kook who believed Vlade Divac was one of them. Only diehard basketball and bigfoot fans will understand.

    • January 7, 2014 at 7:30 pm

      You played an old kook? Did you have to prepare for this role or what? HA HA! I bet you were outstanding!

  6. January 7, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    That photo looks like some hairy dude who was walking the woods in Alabama and forgot a facemask in 7-degree weather. But hoping I’m wrong.

    • January 7, 2014 at 7:30 pm

      Wouldn’t it be cool if it were true? Except the dead part. He didn’t have to kill him.

  7. January 7, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    Sounds and looks like another carny show to me. P.T. Barnum is reborn in Richard Dyer.

    • January 7, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      I think PT might have had a bit more class than Rick Dyer here. This guy is a tad scary.



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