Things Nobody Should Have Ever Told Us

There are some wise-sounding sayings that are not as wise as they sound. It would have been better if they had not been said in the first place, or if they had been rephrased to make more sense.

Age is just a number. (Some anonymous old person). So is the daily Pick-4. Your chances of coming out ahead with that aren’t very good, either.

On the other hand, if anyone ever dares to call me old or suggest that I act my age, may all of their hair fall out, may they always smell like a field of dead cannabis and may they be ardently pursued by someone really ugly who only wants them for their money.

Following her bliss?
Following her bliss?
Follow your bliss. (Joseph Campbell). This sounds really good. The problem is, how do you define “bliss?” To some people, smoking a joint until their eyes glaze over and they become stupid is bliss. That’s an easy bliss to follow, too. All it takes is some Weed, a room with windows and neighbors who don’t mind the smell. Other blisses are not so easy to follow, such as a career as a writer.

Not only that, sometimes people think that a certain thing is their bliss when it really isn’t. If you are tone-deaf and your voice sounds like a goat, you will not be very blissful if you labor under the delusion that you were meant to be the next American Idol. On the other hand, the person who IS meant to be the next American Idol won’t be very happy following Dad’s advice and becoming an accountant.

In other words, this is open to misinterpretation.

The world is also full of other people who have ideas about their own bliss, and sometimes their perceived blisses compete with your perceived bliss. Two people can’t occupy a stage at one time, playing the exact same role. To follow your bliss you might have to fight someone else with the same bliss who is determined to knock your bliss out in Round 1.

Joseph Campbell never mentioned that.

Love means never having to say you’re sorry. (Oliver in Erich Segal’s “Love Story”). Anyone who has ever had any kind of relationship with anybody knows how idiotic this is. If you never say you’re sorry, even when you have been a total ass, your relationships won’t last long.

Sometimes we even find ourselves saying we’re sorry when we haven’t done anything wrong, just to avoid whatever is on the verge of happening. This isn’t much fun, but neither is a fight to the death.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. (Chuck Dederich, but who really cares?). I’m not sure if this is meant to be an encouragement or a warning. Enough said.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. (Some idiot). Yes … sometimes. But sometimes even the tough prefer to hide under the covers, eat three pints of ice cream every day and watch cable TV when the going gets tough. Sometimes they hide, eat ice cream and watch cable TV for a while, THEN get going. Sometimes it’s vice-versa. Whatever. There’s a lot to be said for being a cringing wimp when the situation calls for it. You avoid having to face unpleasantness until it turns around and bites you in the rear, at which point you’re probably screwed.

In the meantime, you have had a nice time of temporary denial.

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14 thoughts on “Things Nobody Should Have Ever Told Us”

  1. Kathy,
    Maybe these sayings work better if you re-combine them:

    Bliss is just a number.
    Follow your age.
    Love means never having to say, “get going!”
    Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and it’s going to be tough!

    Or maybe not.

  2. Very insightful! I’m still following my bliss. The problem is that she is very fast and the older I get, the harder it is to keep up with her.

    1. I gave up on my first bliss (singing leading roles at the Met), but took up a second one (writing). Both of these are difficult goals, but at least I can keep on writing as long as my hands can type on a computer keyboard and my brain can process actual sentences.

  3. I like “Actions speak louder than words” and when I say “like” I mean “dislike”.

    1. Kind of like Facebook, huh?

      In order to show someone that you dislike something as much as they do, you have to “like” their post.

      That doesn’t make sense, but then … it’s Facebook.

    1. That is love indeed. I usually wait until I think I have done something, then I say “I’m sorry” before someone yells at me.

  4. Don’t I ever know what you mean. I have one of these myself. It’s the “thoughts become things” saying, where if you believe something it will manifest. The problem is that if somebody else believes the opposite of your thing just a little harder, they can cancel out your thought. The book won’t tell you that. Loopholes, ya know.

    1. I believe that I will win the lottery and retire in luxury. I have believed that a lot of times, but it hasn’t happened yet.

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