We Need Answers

By: US Army Africa

Q: How do you know that a society is evolving backwards, toward lesser intelligence?

A: When researchers are needed to figure out things that are obvious.

Researchers from Canada are reporting that The Blood Type Diet doesn’t work. The theory behind this diet is that peoples’ nutritional needs vary by blood type. This one is new to me, but I think it holds that if your blood type is “A”, you’re only supposed to eat at places that start with “A” (Arby’s, All-you-can-eat buffets, etc.). If you are a type “B” you stick to Burger King or Billy Bob’s Deep Fried Emporium. And if you’re “AB” you hit them all and then watch the pounds fall away.

The University of Toronto actually studied this diet, using 1500 study subjects (probably freshman lab rats who needed to participate if they wanted to graduate).

Next up on the research docket at U of Toronto:
* Answering the question “Does sanding down your teeth with a nail-file improve dental health?

* A study to determine whether placing a finger on a lit stove causes burns.

And one of particular interest to me:
* Research into whether people who forego underwear tend to catch a zipper in their pubes more often.

We need answers. Thank God for researchers.

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7 thoughts on “We Need Answers”

  1. Come on you guys! Let’s put our heads together and figure out how we can get in on some of this research study money! Ka-ching Ka-ching! Who’s with me?
    My research study first… “Do guys with beer belly’s drink more beer than other people?” And of course…it’s social implications.
    We’ll split the money….let’s goooooooo!

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