We’re Sleepless In Seattle. But Are We Sexist Too? An Inquiry. | HumorOutcasts

We’re Sleepless In Seattle. But Are We Sexist Too? An Inquiry.

January 31, 2014
By

12thMan

You might have seen the report floating around online. A study from the Public Religion Research Institute found that a full third of all football fans pray directly to God to help out their favorite teams. And half of American football fans believe that some sort of supernatural forces are at play in deciding the outcome of a game.

If you saw Richard Sherman’s rant after the last Seahawks game, it’s hard to discount the possibility of temporary demonic possession in football.

I’m not one to bring God into sports, but before the last game I did just that. I was in Fred Meyers, and the burly guy in front of me in line was wearing a Seahawks jersey. He was holding a trash can-sized bag of chips and an enormous bottle of Popov vodka. And I stared at the bottle thinking “Jesus, this guy’s gonna be hurting on Monday, regardless of the outcome.”

So maybe I do bring God into sports. Therefore, I’d like to present a simple fact relevant to Sunday’s Super Bowl — Jesus had 12 apostles. And Seattle has the “12th Man”. So, you know what this means — the Super Bowl is in the bag for the Seahawks, because God is on our side. It won’t even be close. That’s obvious, right?

But hold on, because I’m now rethinking things. Let’s consider this a bit more logically. We know that God is a modern guy, due to the forces of evolution, right? Now think about the crowd at a Seahawks game. There are a lot of women there. They’re cheering just as loudly as any guy who’s hoping his boss doesn’t see him on TV and realize that he’s not out with the flu.

So why is it “The 12th Man” and not “The 12th” person? Why didn’t we go with “The 12th Player”? If there’s one thing we know about God, it’s that he isn’t a sexist.

I’m starting to think we’re being set up, just like Job in the Bible. I pray that I’m wrong here.

Thomas Sullivan

Thomas Sullivan is the author of So Much Time, So Little Change (a book of essays published by Wayman Publishing). It is available at Amazon in print and Kindle. Thomas lives in Seattle.

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One Response to We’re Sleepless In Seattle. But Are We Sexist Too? An Inquiry.

  1. Bill Y Ledden
    January 31, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    You might just be thinking this through a little too much Tom!



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