Blog Archives

Supermodels Relieved as Patriots Break “Curse of Gisele”

February 4, 2015
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Supermodels Relieved as Patriots Break “Curse of Gisele”

NEW YORK.  When rookie defensive back Malcolm Butler intercepted a last-second pass Sunday night to clinch a Super Bowl victory for the New England Patriots, a cheer went up from an unlikely crowd; fifteen scrawny, high-cheekboned…

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America’s Hottest High School Teachers

February 3, 2015
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America’s Hottest High School Teachers

Ho hum.  Another day, another female high school teacher having sex with one of her male students.  It’s a story that’s become all too familiar, like “Fireman Saves Kitten Up Tree,” “Lottery Winner Now Destitute”…

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NFL to Review Pats Fans’ Lucky Underwear

February 2, 2015
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NFL to Review Pats Fans’ Lucky Underwear

BOSTON.  To Del Stebbins, former Assistant Director of Officiating for the National Football League, the first tip-off that something was wrong yesterday came at around 7 p.m. when he “answered nature’s call” at McGreevey’s, a sports bar…

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With X Games Over, Y Games Up Next

February 1, 2015
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With X Games Over, Y Games Up Next

SOMERVILLE, Mass. This densely-populated suburb of Boston, once known as the Rebuilt Engine Capital of America, has slowly transformed itself into a hipster mecca as people like Evan Grinstead have moved in. “It’s a pretty…

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When Glutens Run Free

January 31, 2015
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When Glutens Run Free

Where do glutens go when they set them free? This, of late, has been a mystery to me. Is there a gluten preserve out in the Great Plains? I’m being serious—can someone explain? I imagine…

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Romney Hires Sincerity Consultant as He Mulls 2016 Run

January 30, 2015
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Romney Hires Sincerity Consultant as He Mulls 2016 Run

LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, N.H.  Chastened by his 2012 loss to Barack Obama but prepared to learn from his mistakes, former Massachusetts Governor Willard “Mitt” Romney huddled last night with high-priced consultants as he considers a third run at the…

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Two Dead as Joyce Carol Oates Books Topple on Shoppers

January 29, 2015
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Two Dead as Joyce Carol Oates Books Topple on Shoppers

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. Firemen worked frantically against the clock in a desperate attempt to save the lives of shoppers at the Barnes & Noble bookstore here after a shelf gave way when “The Sacrifice,” the most…

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Huckabee: Jiffy Pop Squirrels Died in Peace

January 28, 2015
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Huckabee: Jiffy Pop Squirrels Died in Peace

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas. Just as his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination begins to gain traction, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee is facing criticism from animal rights groups and death penalty opponents over his practice…

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For One Hockey Dad, Switch to Figure Skating is Tough

January 27, 2015
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For One Hockey Dad, Switch to Figure Skating is Tough

MARLBORO, Mass. It’s Sunday night at the New England Skating Center, and Butchie Dorr is casting a longing glance at a Pee-Wee Hockey tournament final that’s about to begin in one of this facility’s eight…

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Put the Magic Back in Your Marriage!

January 26, 2015
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Put the Magic Back in Your Marriage!

Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together, because it requires husband and wife to touch each other and it’s sticky. Unfortunately, over time, many spouses drift apart because they run out of this…

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