Me and My Talking Raven
Where some of the Neighbourhood were quarrelling, a Raven from the Top of a Tree very articulately and unaccountably cry’d out, Read the Third of Colossians and the Fifteenth!” The Wonders of the Invisible World: […]
Author: Con Chapman
I'm a Boston-area writer, author of The Year of the Gerbil, a history of the 1978 Red Sox-Yankees pennant race, and 50 books of humor including "Scooter & Skipper Blow Things Up!" by HumorOutcasts Press. My work has appeared in The Atlantic, The Christian Science Monitor and The Boston Globe among print outlets. "Rabbit's Blues," my biography of Johnny Hodges, Duke Ellington's long-time alto sax player, will be published by Oxford University Press in September.
At the Repo Man’s Christmas Ball
It was the depths of a recession, And real estate prices had fallen. Some contractors were overextended And their creditors were callin’. Me? I was just doing my job Arranging for repossessions Of cranes and […]
Your Alien Love Advisor
Contacts between aliens and earthlings are increasing, and becoming hotter all the time! Unfortunately, most romantic advice columns just assume that both parties are human–that’s where Your Alien Love Advisor comes in! Alien Love Advisor […]
Me and Barney the Purple Dinosaur
The weekend is my time to give back to my community and my favorite institution within it–our local public library. I remember when I was young how much I loved Story Hour on Saturday morning. Kids […]
With the Federal Reserve at the Saturday Matinee
The Federal Reserve will run advertisements in movie theaters urging consumers to use credit cards wisely during the holiday shopping season. Bloomberg News Everybody makes a big deal outta Black Friday and Cyber Monday, but […]
Persecution of Agnostics on Rise During Holiday Season
ARLINGTON, Virginia. The month of December is a time of peace and goodwill for members of several world religions, but for Alan Macy, it’s a nightmare. “Everybody gangs up on me–Christians, Jews and Muslims,” he […]
A Day in Da Life of a Nutcracker Ticket Scalper
Professional ticket scalpers have moved in on the Boston Ballet’s annual Christmas performance of The Nutcracker. The Boston Globe “Is it a good seat? You can see right up their freakin’ tutus!” Talk about […]
Your Holiday Biz Gift Advisor
The holiday season is a time to reward employees, vendors and customers with gifts that show you appreciate them, but the battlefields of commerce are littered with the corpses of those who made a “faux […]
Gator vs. Funky Worm: Which Office Party Dance is Right for YOU?
It’s that time of year again. The combustible mixture of free booze, poinsettia corsages and the slick, soulful sounds of Eddie Venturi and the Fastidians will cause people to get up and dance at holiday […]
President Declares National Day of Leftovers
WASHINGTON, D.C. Frustrated by Congressional inaction, President Barack Obama today issued an executive order declaring Thursday a National Day of Leftovers after White House chefs reheated the Presidential Thanksgiving Dinner for the third time, including […]