Stop Singing and Write Your Damn Novel
William Faulkner was once thrown out of a speakeasy for singing “I Can’t Give You Anything But Love.” Nick Tosches, Where Dead Voices Gather People think it’s easy bein’ a bouncer in a speakeasy […]
Author: Con Chapman
I'm a Boston-area writer, author of The Year of the Gerbil, a history of the 1978 Red Sox-Yankees pennant race, and 50 books of humor including "Scooter & Skipper Blow Things Up!" by HumorOutcasts Press. My work has appeared in The Atlantic, The Christian Science Monitor and The Boston Globe among print outlets. "Rabbit's Blues," my biography of Johnny Hodges, Duke Ellington's long-time alto sax player, was published by Oxford University Press in 2019, and was named Book of the Year by Hot Club de France. My young adult novel, "Kimiko Chou, Girl Samurai," was published by Atmosphere Press in 2021.
You’ll Never Walk a Dog in This Town Again
A 23-year old Russian dog walker attacked a competitor twice her age for poaching clients. The Boston Globe As I idly surveyed the lucite deal trinkets on my credenza my mind wandered back to the nineties, […]
On Entering the 4,000 Follower Club
As I entered the WordPress locker room at the end of another long day of blogging, something seemed . . . amiss to me. And not the kind of miss that turns into a Mrs. […]
All Hail Our Robot Vasectomy Nurse Mistresses
I share something with my two male cats other than a fondness for weekend naps; we have all been neutered. “We know how you feel.” I went under the knife a decade and a […]
Ask the Art Connoisseur
Ever been confused when friends start to gush about brushstrokes and the “media” used by an artist? Looking for suggestions for the empty space over your fireplace mantle since your wife made you take down your black […]
As Soft Drink Pilferage Rises, Some Turn to Higher Power
BOSTON. It’s noontime on Federal Street, a curious three-block byway that despite its short length is home to some of Boston’s most powerful financial and professional institutions. “With all the bankers and lawyers and such, it oughta be […]
Ask the Wedding Lady
The day of your wedding should be the happiest day of your life, or at least the day of your first wedding. But the customs, folkways and by-laws of matrimony are so darned confusing, it is easy […]
A Day in the Life of a Victoria’s Secret Boot Camp Instructor
Aspiring models are participating in boot camps in the hope of winning Victoria’s Secret’s nationwide runway model search. The Boston Herald As I unpacked my duffle bag in the officer’s barracks at Victoria’s Secret […]
Ask Mr. Car Person
Is your car making a funny sound? Does it give off a bad smell? Ask Mr. Car Person for help, and as soon as he gets the grease off his hands, he’ll type out an […]
A Day in the Life of a Feline Court Officer
Xavier Fernandez came to court in Middle Village, N.Y. to fight a minor charge. Then a cross-eyed cat jumped on the table. “You got any problem with a cat being in this hearing?” said Hearing […]