Blog Archives

Teenage Boys Urge Victoria’s Secret to Keep “Too Sexy” Image

April 10, 2015
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Teenage Boys Urge Victoria’s Secret to Keep “Too Sexy” Image

COLUMBUS, Ohio. Angry crowds of teenage boys descended on Victoria’s Secret headquarters here today in an effort to persuade the lingerie company to retain its current “too sexy” image, which the company has indicated it…

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Citing Health Risks, Social Media Crack Down on “Blog Whores”

April 9, 2015
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Citing Health Risks, Social Media Crack Down on “Blog Whores”

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana.  It’s 10:30 p.m., and Linda Scribner has just finished “Love’s Tender Thrall,” a romantic novel of the type referred to in the trade as a “bodice ripper.”  “Well,” she says with a satisfied…

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Hope for Golf Nuts as Male Disenhancement Pill Passes Clinical Trial

April 8, 2015
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Hope for Golf Nuts as Male Disenhancement Pill Passes Clinical Trial

LEXINGTON, Mass.  Tom Sholes is a certified public accountant and a certifiable golf nut for whom the first week of April is a holy season.  “During the Masters, I don’t want to be bothered by anything,” he…

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Carbon Offsets Bring First, Third Worlds Together

April 7, 2015
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Carbon Offsets Bring First, Third Worlds Together

RIDGEWOOD, New Jersey.  Amy Webster describes her new 5,000 square foot, five-bedroom home in this affluent suburb of New York as her dream come true.  “We finally have four separate air-conditioning zones,” she says with…

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Yankees Release Crystal for Comic to Be Named Later

April 6, 2015
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Yankees Release Crystal for Comic to Be Named Later

The New York Yankees once signed comedian Billy Crystal to a one-day contract.  He struck out on six pitches and was released.                                                                             Wikipedia TAMPA, Florida.  The mood in the New York Yankees’ clubhouse was…

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TGIF With a Big-Balled Yogurt-Eating Mouse

April 3, 2015
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TGIF With a Big-Balled Yogurt-Eating Mouse

In an experiment at MIT mice fed yogurt as compared to junk food developed luxuriantly thicker fur and bigger testicles that they projected outwards, giving them an air of “mouse swagger.”                                                                Scientific American It’s…

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Our Cookie Policy

April 2, 2015
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Our Cookie Policy

At Gerbil News Network (“we,” “us” or “Our Platform”) we use cookies to improve our performance and enhance your user experience. This policy explains how and why we do that. What are cookies? Seriously—you don’t know…

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New Discovery Reveals T.S. Eliot’s First Love Was Bowling

April 1, 2015
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New Discovery Reveals T.S. Eliot’s First Love Was Bowling

ST. LOUIS, Mo. T.S. Eliot was a poetic giant whose masterpiece “The Waste Land” was described by fellow poet William Carlos Williams as “an atom bomb” that wiped out everything that came before it, but…

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“It’s Just Breakfast” Fills Dating Service Niche

March 31, 2015
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“It’s Just Breakfast” Fills Dating Service Niche

BOSTON.  Linda Giljemi is a self-described “serial entrepreneur,” having started, built and sold two dating services before she turned 35.  “I just love bringing people together” she says with the warm smile that endears her…

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IRS Turns to Eunuchs for Tough Tax Cases

March 30, 2015
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IRS Turns to Eunuchs for Tough Tax Cases

News item: Officials in India have used eunuchs to collect unpaid taxes. HAZARD, Kentucky. Ray Bob Suggins, a career revenue officer for the Internal Revenue Service in this small town at the confluence of the…

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