Today is once more Bad-Advice Friday. I shall be dispensing bad advice to all comers. The advice will stupendously bad. GC asks: Is there a reason for putting a banana in meat loaf? Dear GC:…
Dear Lord, please forgive my exuberant anticipation of the holiday season. When I swore I’d never play Christmas songs before Thanksgiving I only meant the creepy Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett commercial duet, Kenny G…
Dear Lord, please forgive my erotic faux pas. When my husband said he LOVED nibbling on my muffin tops I thought he meant, well . . . I thought, anyway. Does anyone want to swap…
Dear Lord, please forgive me for my somewhat vague announcement during last week’s sermon. I asked our baptismal candidates to wear something suitable for the baptismal pool. Note to self: Be very, very, very specific…
Dear Lord, I ask you, Oh Lord, a very serious question so please forgive me for my confused and possibly sinful ways. When the reverend asked us to Love Thy Neighbor did he mean that…
Dear Lord, please accept my deepest apology for my behavior at the Parish Picnic. When Father O’Rourke asked if there was anyone who’d like to make a lighthearted confession I stated that I’d replaced the…
Dear Lord, please forgive my outburst of profanity towards my cat and her sadistic sense humor. I put on my favorite pair of Sunday church shoes only to find a dead mouse she’d dropped into…
Dear Lord, please forgive my 5-year-old’s innocent outburst during one of our Sunday sermons. When the Reverend praised that Jesus Saves, little Barry proudly stood up and shouted, “But Daddy says Moses refinances!” Amen, with…
Dear Lord, please forgive me for my horrible mistake towards a young church member. While singing a hymen hymn he was so off-key I accused him of being deaf. He signed back yes I am.…
Dear Lord, I hope you can forgive my intolerance toward Pat Robertson’s recent behavior. I respect no man who praises the Lord with Jazz Hands, Amen. Check out more of…
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