The Entire World Is A Jagoff When I’m Sick
I spent the past 2 days being sick. Given that, I have determined that there should be a law about making medication packages easier to open. Below is what I wrote while I was […]
A Valentine Message, Or Else
I’m going to tell you a secret: A secret that will seem stunning, coming from a man who writes romance novels: I’m not romantic. At all. This comes as no surprise to my wife, I’m […]
It’s good to read.
I think it was Prof. A.C. Grayling, in a review of ‘A History of Reading by Alberto Manguel’ who said, “To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantage which gives […]
Unicorn Bites 2/13/14
Wife: You never sweep me off my feet. Me: *sweeps her leg* It’s like she’s never seen “Karate Kid.” That’s her own fault. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 13, 2014 Wife: Would you give me […]
In the Gay Old Wintertime
As this long, cold, lonely winter turns into more winter, many are asking, “What the fuck’s going on here?” Well the answer is simple because a winter this extreme can only mean one thing: we have become […]
I give the couple in this David’s Bridal commercial a year.
Regarding weddings, I have two pet peeves. The first is people who do stunts during the nuptials, like dancing down the aisle and recording it or lighting their dress on fire. The second is people […]
Millions Outraged After Distractedly Skimming Headline of Article
Millions of people across the country were outraged today after distractedly skimming the headline of an article that splashed the cover of a newspaper or a magazine or showed up in their Facebook news feed […]
What is business?
This is business
Hike That Thang
The minimum wage debate is starting to heat up. And you know what that means. It’s time for the pimps to get busy. Here’s how it works. The Retail Industry Association and the National Restaurant […]
The True Mantra of Life
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, do porn.