What A Boob
“I think my tits are made of memory foam”, I said to the poor man joining me for dinner. “It’s like I keep cutting them off and they keep growing back. They’re the Tempurpedic of […]
Guest Blog Post – Punxsutawney Phil
Many people are coming down hard on Punxsutawney Phil for seeing his shadow and predicting 6 more weeks of winter. But, it’s not really his fault if you’re counting on a ground hog for your […]
Why the world is in ruins.
I’ve never been accused of being reasonable and I doubt if I ever will. If I were to list all my faults here, it would take you 26 years, 12 weeks and 11 hours to […]
Unicorn Bites 2/5/14
Me:*stands on the scale* *steps off* *stands on it again* Wife: Why’d you do that? I can’t tell her, but now I know the weight of a fart — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 5, 2014 […]
Opera for People Who Don’t Like It
The Stories Opera is more than just middle-aged fat people in period costumes making funny sounds. An opera is a play, with a plot. The only differences between operas and spoken plays are: (1) operas […]
Forget Pot: Ban Potholes
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK Did you hear about the pothole that swallowed Cleveland? It spit the city back out. Thought it didn’t have good taste. Actually, a few years ago I wrote a story […]
Super Bowl 48 Has Its Moments
SUPER BOWL 48 HAS ITS MOMENTS The game wasn’t that close. Still, we have an obligation to our readers to dig out the ironies and other possible funny stuff related or associated with […]
A Dog that Speaks!
This is why they’re man’s best friend.
A Restaurant For People Who Still Care About The Constitution
If you’re like me, you’re sick and tired of surrendering your Second Amendment rights whenever you go into the courthouse for a contentious child-custody hearing. You’ve had it up to here with a Post Office […]
Everyone Wants To Be Like Hunter S. Thompson
I think it was Shakespeare who said, “life is a SyFi Channel TV movie, and we all are merely Danny and Billy Baldwins trying to stumble our way through a shitty production.” Before you tell […]