The Place to Take a Humor Break
The Professor of Earological Musicology at the University of Aural Sensitivity is a man of great distinction and taste. So great is his distinction and taste, that he single-handedly discovered the recessive gene which is […]
Selena Gomez spent two weeks in rehab for emotional trauma. The embarrassment from dating Justin Bieber finally sank in. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 6, 2014 Your mom destroyed her vagina for your ugly head. […]
I was so happy. I hadn’t touched an Almond Roca in thirty years. Memories of my grandmother pushing the candy coated toffee at me and swearing it was delicious had only made me turn up […]
Twice The Fun
The recent heroin overdose by beloved and talented actor Philip Seymour Hoffman has brought about calls for immediate action by authorities. New York City police have been furiously searching for the dealer who sold Hoffman […]
“I think my tits are made of memory foam”, I said to the poor man joining me for dinner. “It’s like I keep cutting them off and they keep growing back. They’re the Tempurpedic of […]
Many people are coming down hard on Punxsutawney Phil for seeing his shadow and predicting 6 more weeks of winter. But, it’s not really his fault if you’re counting on a ground hog for your […]
I’ve never been accused of being reasonable and I doubt if I ever will. If I were to list all my faults here, it would take you 26 years, 12 weeks and 11 hours to […]
Me:*stands on the scale* *steps off* *stands on it again* Wife: Why’d you do that? I can’t tell her, but now I know the weight of a fart — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 5, 2014 […]
The Stories Opera is more than just middle-aged fat people in period costumes making funny sounds. An opera is a play, with a plot. The only differences between operas and spoken plays are: (1) operas […]