Stress Reliever
I think I really scared the new girl in work today and not in a good way. She mentioned that she thought my cell phone was cool. I told her that a phone is merely […]
Who Put This Banana in the Drawer?
I have a way of finding things in unusual places. Take, for example, the time I found one of my socks on the kitchen floor, next to the door. It was just one gray and […]
Unicorn Bites 1/14/14
It’s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your shit together, every other vegetable. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2014 Me: I’m one card away from […]
Ask What You Can Do For Your Country
We’ve all heard of the Trickle Down Theory. This self-serving fantasy promoted by the rich holds that cutting taxes on upper incomes leads to job creation and spurs economic activity. In reality most of that […]
Portrait of The Hair of The Dog by The Stylist
I’ve never heard the music of Edvard Grieg and I don’t necessarily want to, but that’s neither here nor there and is totally irrelevant to this story. Thinking about it now, I’m not sure why I […]
Speculations on the offensive statement that pushed Kanye over the edge
Just when we thought Kanyeshian (Kanye West and Kim Kardashian) was retreating from the media, something dramatic happened to throw them right back into the spotlight where they aspire to be. Yahoo! News recently reported […]
What emails and my waistline have in common
Getting my emails to a manageable number is much like getting my weight to a manageable number. Both are great in theory, and neither are made better with a one-pound bag of Skittles. […]
Unicorn Bites 1/13/14
Him: Let’s settle this like men. Me: Agreed. *drinks beer and ignores the problem* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 13, 2014 Wife: I’m making pulled pork. Me: Feel free to pull my pork. […]
Dog Days of Award Season
News outlets this morning flashed pictures of stars who didn’t win the Golden Globe award last night. The photos displayed captions such as “the most awkward didn’t win” face. There were twice as many photos […]
Google Directions
A Southwest airliner going from Chicago to Branson, Missouri accidentally landed at the wrong airport on a runway that was only half as long as the intended runway at the intended airport. Fortunately, all passengers […]