170 school days of hand-clapping to you, sir…
Say happy National Public Safety Telecommunicators Week three times fast
I’ve been taking 911 calls for so long that they were originally 91 calls. Well, it seems that way, anyway. It turns out National Public Safety Telecommunicators Week predates my employment in the emergency services […]
Two Year Old Moves Forward With Plans To Scream In Car
DES PLAINES, IL – Citing his suspiciously quiet evil smirk while being rolled through the Six Flags Great America parking lot, coupled with the obscene amount of sugar on the funnel cake he just had to […]
Some Grumble as Skinny Types Again Dominate Marathon
BOSTON. The Boston Marathon, the world’s oldest annual marathon, attracts runners from around the world every Patriot’s Day, a holiday on the third Monday in April that serves as an excuse for local bureaucrats to […]
Give-a-Damn Ship
As you go through life–and I know you will–you will often find it necessary to exercise Give-a-Damn-Ship (“GADS”). The practice is sometimes referred to as “Give-a-____-Ship,” although this usage is discouraged in order to spare […]
As Marathon Approaches, Race to Be Most Charitable Tightens
WESTLAND, Mass. The Boston Marathon, the nation’s oldest, is Monday, so the coming weekend would normally be a time of high anticipation for Nicole Stansler, who’ll be running in her fifteenth such event. “I always […]