Happy Valentine’s Day! What’s For Supper, Honey?
As NFL Draft Approaches, Jets Fans Rev Up Cargo Cult
FLUSHING, Queens, N.Y. The National Football League’s 2019 draft is two months in the future, but Bill Zawinooski’s eyes are looking to the past. “For him, it’s always 1969,” says his wife Cheryl, who attended […]
Freedonian Women Have Hit With “Songs of Romantic Remorse”
ZLOTNGYSBJZ, Freedonia. This industrial city is often referred to as the “Liverpool of Freedonia” because of the number of famous musicians who have plied their trade here before moving on to bigger venues in the […]
When planning a romantic Valentine’s Day getaway, don’t forget to invite your wife
For years people the world over have sought my advice as a foremost authority on matters of the heart. Perhaps it’s because I’m half-German. Or maybe because I got an A- in French in high […]
Valentine’s Day — Say It With Chickens!
At some point in the relationship, every man I’ve ever gone out with has looked at me sadly and concluded “You aren’t very romantic, are you?” I am not. I am loving and funny and […]
Booting Up the Carpocalypse
Remember when cars didn’t have starters, and you used to have to crank them to start? Okay, neither do I. But I’ll bet a lot of you remember a time before cars were mostly computers. […]
Valentine’s Day the Old-Fashioned Way
On Valentine’s Day in fifth grade, we remember sitting at our desks anxiously awaiting the distribution of cards from a shoebox wrapped in red foil. We could count on getting valentines from our girlfriends. Maybe […]