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Birthday Clown

June 17, 2011
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The clown at my son’s birthday party was so bad that he made a balloon animal by sticking an air compressor hose in my dog’s mouth.

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Deja Vu moments?

June 16, 2011
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I thought I was having a lot of deja vu moments but I realized I was just in a big rut doing the same thing over and over again.

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Defusing a Hot Tub Disaster

June 16, 2011
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Defusing a Hot Tub Disaster

Many people are aware of the relationship I have with my hot tub or as those in the industry call it, my “spa”.  My spa came to me in 2005.  I fell in love with…

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Sarahpalinite

June 16, 2011
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Ok, so Kryptonite makes superman weak. Sarahpalinite kills his brain cells. Just, you know, for future reference. http://wcti.us/00EK

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Breaking Weiner News

June 16, 2011
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The early word today is that Representative Anthony Weiner is stepping down from his position soon. Citing the overwhelming scheduling demands of Congress, he simply did not have enough time in his day to send…

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Negative People

June 16, 2011
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Negative people are like vampires. They will just suck every last bit of  life out of you.    

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Fear

June 15, 2011
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FDR: All we have to fear is fear itself. And Hitler. Stalin. Tojo. Eleanor when she’s pissed off. You don’t want that. http://wcti.us/0013

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Rush Limbaugh

June 15, 2011
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Hold the presses, I just found out that Rush Limbaugh is not a satirical character, but a real person. WTF?

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Retirement

June 15, 2011
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I used to dream that if I worked hard, and saved enough money, I could retire early. Now, I just dream that I won’t kill myself by Saturday.

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Jobs, It’s all just common CENTS! cause that’s all we can afford!

June 15, 2011
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Jobs, It’s all just common CENTS! cause that’s all we can afford!

Where are the jobs? Olly olly, oxen free, free free ! Now, all I know is what I read on the internet, and all I see, other than politicians’ body parts, is the four letter…

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The Price of Gas

June 15, 2011
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The Price of Gas

The hardest part of a new relationship is the stress of wondering what she’ll do the first time I pass gas while we’re in bed together. It’s one thing to fart when I’m out with…

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Looking for a Few Good Revolutionaries? Try the New Secret Internet

June 15, 2011
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Are you a government overthrower who is sick and tired of the slow Internet? Do you try to get word to your fellow revolutionaries only to be hit by pop-up ads and spam in your…

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Evolution of Dirty Talk

June 15, 2011
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Ever since its inception, Hollywood had played a major role in influencing our society. Each time we watch a movie, we try emulating the lifestyles, fashion, and mannerisms of the heroes and heroines in the…

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A Letter to Representative Anthony Weiner

June 15, 2011
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Dear Representative Weiner: My name is Mayor Tom Lund; I’m a highly respected fellow politician from Western Pennsylvania.  I’m very upset over your recent behavior. It’s politicians like you that puts a dark cloud over our…

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Dear (insert name) Thank You

June 14, 2011
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“Dear Debbie Martina-Weber, thank you for your recent interest in our dandruff shampoo.  We hope you enjoy your free sample and become an Itchy Twitchy Shampoo user.” I hate pop-up ads!  I have one of…

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Is My Face in Flames?

June 14, 2011
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I am a weather phobe. There is not much about a weather report that doesn’t scare the bejesus out of me. I considered the Channel 5 weatherman in Chicago a mortal enemy as he seemed…

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FREE COFFEE!

June 14, 2011
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FREE COFFEE!

The most entertaining parts of my life are the conversations between my girlfriend and I. She’s a wonderful sport because no matter what she says, I have a knack for taking it to a ridiculous…

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Twitter

June 14, 2011
By

The “Real” Jesus Christ followed me, de-followed me and followed me again on Twitter. I don’t know if I should be flattered or just really worried.

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Curing Stupidity

June 14, 2011
By

Andrew Weiner wants leave for treatment. Not even shock therapy can cure stupidity.

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The Perfect Life of the Pampered Pet

June 14, 2011
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The Perfect Life of the Pampered Pet

 My daughter played travel softball. When nationals came around, we would always board our German Shepherd, Miss Muffie, at The Spa.  The place wasn’t really called The Spa, but the other parents from the team…

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Meteorite

June 14, 2011
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Yesterday, a heart-shaped meteorite crashed through my roof and burned my house. Heart-shaped? Sounds like proof that God loves me! Suck it, atheists!

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New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


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The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins
By Brian Kiley and HumorOutcasts Press

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Rats, Mice, And Other Things You Can't Take to The Bank: An Inspirational Collection of Essays from Humorous to Simply Human
By Leslie Handler. and HumorOutcasts Press

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