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Random Thought 3

October 9, 2011
By

Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.

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Random Thought 2

October 9, 2011
By

You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.

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Random Thought 1

October 9, 2011
By

If loving someone is putting them in a strait jacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.

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Man vs. Food

October 7, 2011
By

Just once, I’d like to see a five pound cheeseburger pull a knife and stab the guy from Man vs. Food.

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The Goldfish Who Changed the World

October 7, 2011
By

It was a dark and stormy night, and in a particular house on Maple Street, there lived a tiny little goldfish named Herman. Herman was home alone while his owners were at a special fundraising…

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The Legal Doobie

October 7, 2011
By

It appears the federal government has nothing more important to do than to pick on evil medical marijuana dispensaries in California. Federal prosecutors have told stores that they must shut down in 45 days or…

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Friday Humor Devotional

October 7, 2011
By

Dear Lord, forgive my night of drunken debauchery and please help me to remember why I have, “MUST BE THIS HEIGHT TO RIDE” tattooed across the back of my ass,  Amen.

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My First Kiss, Fact or Fiction

October 7, 2011
By

Do you remember your first kiss? I do  — or I thought I did. I would have sworn on a stack of bibles, testified in a court of law, taken a lie detector test, or…

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The Third Little Pig

October 6, 2011
By

After both of his brothers died in a terrible wolf eating accident, and following the fortunate burning of the big bad wolf, the third little pig had an unplanned wolf feast. See, the wolf was…

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How Will History View Steve Jobs?

October 6, 2011
By

Sure, today many are mourning the loss of Steve Jobs, innovator and visionary. But what if years from now, history has a completely different view of Steve Jobs? “Back in the 2000s, some people actually…

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Mars Needs Strippers!

October 5, 2011
By

An interstate brouhaha is underway between Houston, Texas and New York City over the final resting place for the space shuttle Enterprise. The shuttle, which never flew in space, but was the test model for…

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Hitler Analogy Checklist

October 5, 2011
By

You may appropriately use an analogy to compare someone to Hitler if: A) They were responsible for at least 6 million murders. or B) They have a really silly moustache. If you cannot answer “Yes”…

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Aggressive Pop-Up Ad NOT from HumorOutcasts

October 5, 2011
By

I don’t know if anyone else has had this experience on our site but I wanted to issue a warning. We do not accept any advertising that is in anyway pop-up or pop-under. Today I…

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Saved by the Bell

October 5, 2011
By
Saved by the Bell

We all know the phrase, “Saved by the Bell”. Okay, while most of us might equate that phrase to Zack, Screech and the rest of the Bayside High School TV cast, there is another meaning…

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Engagement

October 4, 2011
By

I had a pretty exciting weekend. My girlfriend wants to get married, so I finally broke down, and signed her up for eHarmony.

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Amanda Knox

October 3, 2011
By

Amanda Knox is free to go home from Italy, but Rick Perry has volunteered to execute her in Texas anyway.

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Missing Boy Parts

October 3, 2011
By
Missing Boy Parts

A single mother of two in Great Britain was shocked to learn that her long-time boyfriend and lover was not only NOT a man but a woman who also had a history of child molestation. …

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Can Christian Louboutin Shoes Fit my Lifestyle?

October 2, 2011
By
Can Christian Louboutin Shoes Fit my Lifestyle?

I was watching an episode of I love Lucy, and in this episode Lucy and Ethel were preparing to go shopping. In order to go downtown, the women had to change from their housecleaning clothes…

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Drunker than a skunk on Halloween with a Trashcan and a can of Mace

October 1, 2011
By

The title to this piece was my Facebook status last night, well really, this morning at about 1:30am. It actually said “Drunker than a skunk om Halloween with a trashcan and a can of ,ace.”…

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Friday Humor Devotional

September 30, 2011
By

Dear Lord, save me from the evils of boxed wine, men who still live with their mothers and Triscuits, Amen.      

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Three Steps off the Porch into Hell

September 30, 2011
By

A few weeks ago while I was sitting on my porch I started pondering the content of the GOP debates on the local and national news stations. These debates have helped me to form a theory on politics. If you…

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New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins
By Brian Kiley and HumorOutcasts Press

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New Release
Rats, Mice, And Other Things You Can't Take to The Bank: An Inspirational Collection of Essays from Humorous to Simply Human
By Leslie Handler. and HumorOutcasts Press

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