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Random Thought 6

October 10, 2011
By

My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun.

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Random Thought 5

October 10, 2011
By

If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt.

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Random Thought 4

October 10, 2011
By

When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.

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The Rainmaker

October 9, 2011
By
The Rainmaker

The Rainmaker There’ s a new Texas Miracle these days and it has nothing to do with Rick Perry.  The greatest gift anyone could give this state is rain, rain and more rain.  Perry tried…

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A cartoonist writes . . .

October 9, 2011
By
A cartoonist writes . . .

Is cartooning viewed as a ‘folk art’ along with macramé, pottery and morris dancing? AS A CARTOONIST I am often asked, “Why don’t you bugger off?” This is usually from prospective clients. One receives the…

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So, You Wanna Learn Football 2

October 9, 2011
By
So, You Wanna Learn Football 2

Well, last lesson (https://humoroutcasts.com/2011/so-you-wanna-learn-football-lesson-1/), I took you through some of the basics of football play. But then I thought, “How can I expect those who know nothing about football to appreciate the game without understanding…

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Random Thought 3

October 9, 2011
By

Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.

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Random Thought 2

October 9, 2011
By

You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.

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Random Thought 1

October 9, 2011
By

If loving someone is putting them in a strait jacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.

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Man vs. Food

October 7, 2011
By

Just once, I’d like to see a five pound cheeseburger pull a knife and stab the guy from Man vs. Food.

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The Goldfish Who Changed the World

October 7, 2011
By

It was a dark and stormy night, and in a particular house on Maple Street, there lived a tiny little goldfish named Herman. Herman was home alone while his owners were at a special fundraising…

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The Legal Doobie

October 7, 2011
By

It appears the federal government has nothing more important to do than to pick on evil medical marijuana dispensaries in California. Federal prosecutors have told stores that they must shut down in 45 days or…

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Friday Humor Devotional

October 7, 2011
By

Dear Lord, forgive my night of drunken debauchery and please help me to remember why I have, “MUST BE THIS HEIGHT TO RIDE” tattooed across the back of my ass,  Amen.

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My First Kiss, Fact or Fiction

October 7, 2011
By

Do you remember your first kiss? I do  — or I thought I did. I would have sworn on a stack of bibles, testified in a court of law, taken a lie detector test, or…

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The Third Little Pig

October 6, 2011
By

After both of his brothers died in a terrible wolf eating accident, and following the fortunate burning of the big bad wolf, the third little pig had an unplanned wolf feast. See, the wolf was…

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How Will History View Steve Jobs?

October 6, 2011
By

Sure, today many are mourning the loss of Steve Jobs, innovator and visionary. But what if years from now, history has a completely different view of Steve Jobs? “Back in the 2000s, some people actually…

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Mars Needs Strippers!

October 5, 2011
By

An interstate brouhaha is underway between Houston, Texas and New York City over the final resting place for the space shuttle Enterprise. The shuttle, which never flew in space, but was the test model for…

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Hitler Analogy Checklist

October 5, 2011
By

You may appropriately use an analogy to compare someone to Hitler if: A) They were responsible for at least 6 million murders. or B) They have a really silly moustache. If you cannot answer “Yes”…

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Aggressive Pop-Up Ad NOT from HumorOutcasts

October 5, 2011
By

I don’t know if anyone else has had this experience on our site but I wanted to issue a warning. We do not accept any advertising that is in anyway pop-up or pop-under. Today I…

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Saved by the Bell

October 5, 2011
By
Saved by the Bell

We all know the phrase, “Saved by the Bell”. Okay, while most of us might equate that phrase to Zack, Screech and the rest of the Bayside High School TV cast, there is another meaning…

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Engagement

October 4, 2011
By

I had a pretty exciting weekend. My girlfriend wants to get married, so I finally broke down, and signed her up for eHarmony.

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New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
Maybe Kevin
By Brian Kiley and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle



New Release
Daddy duJour
By Barbara Hammond and Shorehouse Books

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