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Small Feet Won’t Get Me into the Army

May 29, 2011
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I have small feet.  On the hottest day of the year when feet are supposed to expand and swell the most, I can maybe make it into a size 5.  Why is my foot size…

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Badgering Bovine with Rhetorical Questions

May 28, 2011
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Badgering Bovine with Rhetorical Questions

Cows – what gentle creatures they are. They give us milk, eat grass and hay, have four stomachs, and moo. Well, at least that’s the image city folk have. I dare you to drive down…

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Memorial Day at the Trailer Park

May 28, 2011
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One of my duties as Mayor of the trailer park is to organize a few annual gatherings, and the owners of the trailer park gave me an entertainment budget of $56.93 for the entire year!  …

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The Unknown Dangers of Hand Sanitizers

May 27, 2011
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The Unknown Dangers of Hand Sanitizers

My husband and I took off for the beach. However, a sea of fog descended and made it impossible to see the water.  So, we decided to take a short trip to Atlantic City and…

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The Lost Gospels

May 27, 2011
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There was a show on TV about “The Lost Gospels”. If only they had lost the rest of them, too.

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Proof of Jesus

May 27, 2011
By

I saw that after that tornado killed about 200 people and left thousands homeless, there was a cross left standing in the ruins of a church. So I guess that proves Jesus is real or…

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Fired Up for Summer

May 26, 2011
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Fired Up for Summer

The Spring ritual remains the same.  We open up the sun porch, uncover the  furniture, put potting soil in the planters and check the gas grill. But this year held a surprise.  Our beloved grill…

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What Happened to Lucy and Ethel?

May 25, 2011
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I was watching I Love Lucy, and I have to admit that it is one of my favorite old shows.  It’s not the crazy antics that I love — although they make me laugh–but the…

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Joke of the Day 5.25.2011

May 25, 2011
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I just wanted to put my crack pipe down long enough to say that anyone who has a vice needs serious help. That’s why I gave up drinking.

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The Sins of the Girl Scouts

May 25, 2011
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I recently learned about two teenage sisters who had broken away from a Satanic cult and have since been working feverishly for its overthrow. This group is called the Girl Scouts. Yes, they of the…

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Our Meat Might Not Moo in the Future

May 25, 2011
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Our Meat Might Not Moo in the Future

Getting ready to chomp down on your first juicy burger of the barbecue season?  Well, right now you know where that meat came from, but in a few years, that might not be the case.…

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Six Word Memoirs

May 24, 2011
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The objective of  Six Word Memoirs is to generate a story or a special moment using  six word only.  Today my Six Word Memoirs was inspired by my husband Pete.  I was feeling down and needed a bit of tea and sympathy  –…

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Joke of the Day 5.24.2011

May 24, 2011
By

  Harold Camping announces new doomsday date, but says good time to buy in the stock market.

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Crazy Love

May 24, 2011
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Crazy Love

Here’s one that came to me via an e-mail and was just too funny not to share.  Enjoy (click on image to hear opening song for Benny & Joon) Just because someone doesn’t love you…

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The Mayor Takes a Bicycle Ride

May 24, 2011
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It was a beautiful day here in the trailer park.   And since there were no major backups at the sewage plant and everything flowed as scheduled, I decided to take a break from my mayoral…

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Will Video Poker Make me Rich?

May 24, 2011
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Will Video Poker Make me Rich?

I live about an hour or so from Atlantic City. I only realized I lived that close about three years ago. Usually, if I headed to the beach, I headed to the water and sand and…

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Joke of the Day 5.24.2011

May 24, 2011
By

NATIONAL VEGETARIAN WEEK. Or as they say in Texas, “More Meat for Me Week.”

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Joke of the Day 5.23.2011

May 23, 2011
By

Harold Camping is a genius. He purposely got the rapture date wrong, so you can be grateful to be alive, even on a Monday.

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Jesus Cancels Rapture At Last Minute

May 23, 2011
By

While everyone was spending a lot of time making fun of Harold Camping, it turns out that he was actually quite correct on the date and time of the impending rapture. Jesus had made all…

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Food, Hormones and…I forgot

May 23, 2011
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Food, Hormones and…I forgot

I want to believe with every fiber of my being that people break into my house and steal my food.  This is the best explanation I have for why my refrigerator is empty. I go…

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Daily Musing 5.23.11

May 23, 2011
By

So I see that the author of “You Light Up My Life” has killed himself. That’s just one guy. I’m more interested in how many listeners did the same.

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