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Tweets from History – Geronimo

July 14, 2011
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Geronimo: You say what when you jump out of a plane? … Why? … What’s a plane?   http://wcti.us/001K

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The Night I spent in the Arms of Dolly Parton

July 14, 2011
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On Friday, my midget friend Roger and I were loafing around, playing pinball down at the trailer park office.    Out of the blue, a huge motor coach came rolling into the park.    I had never…

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Two More Inches

July 13, 2011
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I was watching late night TV and perked up when I heard that there was a great way to “gain two more inches”. It promised that I would receive this product in a discreet manner,…

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A slippery slope to AWESOME

July 13, 2011
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A slippery slope to AWESOME

They warned us. They warned us that legalizing gay marriage would lead us down a slippery slope that would eventually see man-on-dog and woman-on-baby marriage. Well, it’s now clear that what happens on Broadway affects…

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Breast Augmentation

July 13, 2011
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I have always been an opponent of breast augmentation surgery. I augment mine the old-fashioned way. Beer and Cheetos.

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Unclogging my Life…or at Least the Kitchen Sink

July 13, 2011
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Unclogging my Life…or at Least the Kitchen Sink

This morning, I woke up to a clogged kitchen sink.  I went to get my plunger, but it was nowhere to be found, and I mean nowhere. It’s not like I would have accidentally thrown…

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When Fetishes Fail

July 12, 2011
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A woman in Ireland died after having sex with a German Shepherd. Yep, she was allergic to something in the shepherd and well, she croaked.  The guy who was with her in this little bestiality…

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Temporary Vacation (Pump)

July 12, 2011
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Temporary Vacation (Pump)

In late-1989 I turned nine years old. Around the same time, Aerosmith released an album titled “Pump.” I loved the album because of the old trucks on the album cover, but I also enjoyed it…

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Midget Wrestling Can Be A Great Income Opportunity!

July 12, 2011
By

I’m the elected Mayor of large trailer park.  Among my duties as Mayor is organizing some occasional entertainment for the community.   So far this year I organized a bus trip to the casino and a…

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Shirts

July 11, 2011
By

SHIRTS ARE A covering for the upper body for those of us not of the football hooligan fraternity who prefer to remain shirtless at all times. Two large rectangles of material cover the front and…

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Joke of the Day – Exaggeration

July 11, 2011
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The art of exaggeration is over-rated.

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My Upcoming Mega Million Lottery Win

July 11, 2011
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My Upcoming Mega Million Lottery Win

I think I need to win the lottery.  I was talking to a friend of mine about our careers, and I suddenly realized that for me to accomplish all I set out to accomplish, I…

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Tweets From History — Civil War

July 10, 2011
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Every union general at every battle up until Gettysburg: Dudes, the other way. http://wcti.us/002x

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Google Social Networking

July 10, 2011
By

Google +, really? Nothing says social networking more than using a math operator symbol. Can’t wait to invite my chess & computer fans.

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Dominos and the California commute

July 10, 2011
By

Next weekend, they’re closing the 405 for 2 days, the traffic is going to be so bad that Dominos modified their guarantee to 30 hours or less

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A Hand-y Guide to Wisdom

July 10, 2011
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My minister told us today that we can have a better life by following the wisdom contained in the five fingers of our hand. So here are five guidelines for living an empowered life, with…

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How We Deal with Death When It Is Least Expected

July 10, 2011
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How We Deal with Death When It Is Least Expected

When people close to us are taken without expectation, how we deal with our grief depends on how we view life. It seems like there has been an unusual number of incidences in the news…

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The Language of Motherhood

July 10, 2011
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The Language of Motherhood

Every year, sparrows and finches build nests underneath the rafters of my back porch. I think birds look at my back porch much the same way that I look at beachfront property: the ultimate real…

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Tweets from History -Alexander Graham Bell

July 10, 2011
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Alexander Graham Bell: Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you. Don’t put me on hold! Ugh http://wcti.us/002o

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Tweets From History-Donner Party

July 10, 2011
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Donner Party: Mmmm Buffalo wings. Big honkin’ ones too! Um, where’s Frank? http://wcti.us/00AE

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YOU’RE SO FIRED!

July 9, 2011
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So, you’ve been handed your pink slip, however, the boss expects you to work until the end of the day.   Here is a list of clever one-liners guaranteed to make your departure memorable.  For your convenience  I’ve  listed them…

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