Unicorn Bites 4/23/14

Me: Can I have some of your candy? 3-year-old: Can I have some of your beer? Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: Deal. Wife: NO! — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 23, 2014 Teenager: How fast were […]

Share this Post:

Thomas the Insightful Tank Engine

Many ask the Bill Y how he knows so much about the financial acumen of the ladies of the night and it’s a valid question, if ever there was one. A question like this demands […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 4/22/14

“Never give up.”–someone who wants you to waste your life at something you’re bad at — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 22, 2014 3-year-old daughter: *takes a bath* *spits* Me: Don’t spit in the tub. 3: […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 4/21/14

It’s weird how when a woman says, “It’s up to you, honey,” it sounds exactly like “Read my mind or die, motherfucker.” — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 21, 2014 The worst places of no return: […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 4/20/14

3-year-old: Can we do this? Me: What did Mommy say? 3: No Me: Then why would I say yes? 3: Because she’s not the boss of you Checkmate. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2014 […]

Share this Post:

Friends Today

Jill Y and I were talking. For those not familiar with this concept, it involves having a conversation with someone without text or email. I realize that this might sound radical but it is possible […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 4/19/14

Me: I won the donut-eating contest Boss: It wasn’t a contest. It was just a box of donuts. For everyone. And you ate them all Me: Loser — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2014 Wife: […]

Share this Post: