Unicorn Bites 2/24/14
Detective: I found the murder weapon. *holds up kindness* Rookie cop: You mean she killed him with… Detective: Yep Rookie: *throws up* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 24, 2014 3-year-old: Do you have a mat […]
Detective: I found the murder weapon. *holds up kindness* Rookie cop: You mean she killed him with… Detective: Yep Rookie: *throws up* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 24, 2014 3-year-old: Do you have a mat […]
I’m liberal, but I’m no absolutist. I believe in compromise. For example, I think people should be allowed to bring guns into bars and churches, as long as they agree to carry those guns by […]
We’ll start by saying that this is not, not cruel but most fun things are. Step one: Show your son or daughter (in my case I’ll be using my imaginary son) a picture of a […]
Thank gods we’re here to tell it like it is. We received a very disturbing email last night and for one brief moment, we were shocked to our very core. There are some things in life […]
A leading industry which makes a well known product has graciously alerted the public to the fact that there is a dangerous and disruptive shortage certainly coming in the possibly near future. An industry spokesman […]
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 22, 2014 Me: Sex? […]
I said it. Out loud. Without even thinking. And then once I said it, I couldn’t take it back. And instantly… I was old. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE WE DIDN’T HAVE… Boom. There it […]
As I constantly remind anyone and everyone, talking to me, listening to me or even knowing someone who talks or listens to me, will make you a much better person. Apart from taking pleasure in the […]