Unicorn Bites 10/9/13
If a woman expects you to open the door for her, it’s a massive red flag. Never date a girl who doesn’t know how to work a knob. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October […]
Tag: funny
1678 Days and Four Days.
I forgot that it was 1678 days and four days since Jill Y and I became a couple and as punishment, I was to made watch a TV show called The Voice. Apart from documentaries […]
Between the Lines
Famous Movie Quotes “Hasta la vista, Baby.” Terminator 2: Judgment Day If you’re going to pulverize someone into oblivion, what better way to do it than by giving a Spanish lesson as you pull the […]
Unicorn Bites 10/8/13
Me: “Don’t pick that scab. It'll scar, & scars never go away.” My 3-year-old: “Sometimes they do. Simba knocked Scar off a cliff.” Touché. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 8, 2013 I could […]
If you want to find the woman of your dreams, look after your friends.
If I could only get the time machine to work, we wouldn’t have to have worry about those god awful Star Wars prequels. When I first asked Jill Y out on a date, she didn’t […]
Rev Those Engines!!
I’ve been looking for a good analogy for what’s been happening in DC. Yesterday I found it in a sports video. You know those Monster Truck shows? Some guy drives what appears to be a […]
The strange case of the three missing cats that Scurvy Jane will probably never see again.
Three of Scurvy Jane’s 72 cats went missing last night and for a time, they where nowhere to be seen. I had a theory that they went to Tunisia where they have Tuna and I […]
Unicorn Bites 10/6/13
Attractive people are seldom funny because life has been too easy for them. On an unrelated note, you’re hilarious. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 6, 2013 My wife pulled out a “Cosmo” survey […]