The Pilfered Penis
And out of the “EWWWW!” file although by today’s standards, it would be the “Yay, you deserve it!” file: a man in China was ambushed in his home, but the burglars took nothing but his […]
Tag: love
Nobody Loves Me
Nobody loves me. When my little sister was born, my mother looked at her and said, “What a sweet baby!” When I was born, she looked at me and said, “What the hell is this?” […]
Finding Miss Right
Next week, on June 6th, my guest on HumorOutcasts Radio is a young man from Florida named Scott Heide. Scott has launched a video about finding “Ms. Right” that has landed him on TV, radio […]
Childhood Trauma Soap
If I could have your serious attention for a moment please. I have something to say and it’s important and you need to hear it. Until we change, we’re going to remain the same. That’s […]
The Courtship of Prince Nigel
Prince Nigel is the Queen’s second cousin, twice removed (twice removed, forcibly, from Buckingham Palace. He now lives in Battersea). After leaving school, Prince Nigel settled into his bedsit with his collection of anoraks and […]
Titanic’s Lump of Coal
Just in time to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the Titanic’s sinking, a TV commercial is advertising a necklace that contains an authentic piece of coal from the sunken liner. Personally, unless that coal comes […]
Ode to My iPhone: Oh How I Love You
Oh iPhone, how do I love you so with your really big screen and your gorgeous white glow. I don’t know how I lived without you for so long; I was missing texting and […]
Could Tebow Be Swift’s Beau?
Rumor has it that Taylor Swift went out on a casual date with Tim Tebow. The media is speculating on a budding romance between the two. Already fans are presenting Swift with new song titles […]
The Honest Truth of What I’m About to Say Will Probably Enrage You
I have a 6th sense when it comes to knowing how to push people’s buttons. Normally I try to avoid such unpleasantness. Unfortunately that’s not always possible. I realize what I’m about to say will […]