EXCITED SCIENTISTS REPORT that the Mars Rover has recorded an encounter with an actual inhabitant of the planet. The Martian creature looked not unlike many well-known depictions of aliens by close encounter victims on Earth.
The alien addressed the Mars Rover with a short speech which NASA linguists have managed to decode although the exact content of the message is a mystery to most Americans.
NASA PR spokesman, Dale Gottlieb, said, "This is historically and scientifically very exciting although we would have naturally expected a message of interplanetary friendship and co-operation. But the Martian just kept repeating over and over again: 'Jimmy Savile abused me'. As yet, we have no idea what this means."
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