My Cat, Unregistered Investment Advisor

My Cat, Unregistered Investment Advisor

An orange tabby cat beat professionals in a stock-picking competition.  He made his selections by throwing his favorite toy mouse on a grid of numbers […]

Bert and Ernie: The Lost Interview

Bert and Ernie: The Lost Interview

  Bert and Ernie: The Lost Interview Conspicuously absent in social media speculation surrounding the sexual orientation of Muppets Bert and Ernie is the fact […]

What I meant to do:

What I meant to do:

What I meant to do: Run a 10K race and eat a healthy meal. What I actually did: Ran a 10 K race then ate […]

Revolt of the Ill-Bred Swedish Children

Revolt of the Ill-Bred Swedish Children

In Sweden children are protected by law from spanking and are becoming the chief decision makers in homes at very young ages, leading some to fear […]

Wisdom for Dummies–from Dorothy Rosby

Wisdom for Dummies–from Dorothy Rosby

The camera adds ten pounds. That’s why, when you get your picture taken, you should wear bigger clothes. Find more dubious advice in I Used […]

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My Cat, Unregistered Investment Advisor

February 17, 2019
By

An orange tabby cat beat professionals in a stock-picking competition.  He made his selections by throwing his favorite toy mouse on a grid of numbers […]

Read more »

Bert and Ernie: The Lost Interview

February 15, 2019
By

  Bert and Ernie: The Lost Interview Conspicuously absent in social media speculation surrounding the sexual orientation of Muppets Bert and Ernie is the fact […]

Read more »

What I meant to do:

February 15, 2019
By

What I meant to do: Run a 10K race and eat a healthy meal. What I actually did: Ran a 10 K race then ate […]

Read more »

Revolt of the Ill-Bred Swedish Children

February 15, 2019
By

In Sweden children are protected by law from spanking and are becoming the chief decision makers in homes at very young ages, leading some to fear […]

Read more »

Nothing’s Impossible…

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Last Valentine’s Day Blind Date Ever

February 14, 2019
By
#shark#Valentine'sDay

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When the Moon Hits Your Eye

February 14, 2019
By

Artwork by Lauren Faulkenberry.  Text/idea by Bill Spencer.

Artist’s Website: laurenfaulkenberry.com

Lauren Faulkenberry

Several Ways of Choosing a Wife

February 14, 2019
By

Here’s a helpful suggestion for choosing a wife: Don’t pick from the bin that says “Tragic view of life.” Sure, she’ll share your love of […]

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Sleep

February 14, 2019
By

Today I am grateful for sleep.  But I wish I could get some.  I’m on steroids for these miseries and I forgot how they mess […]

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If you think you’re too hip to be square, don’t forget where we came from…

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Happy Valentine’s Day! What’s For Supper, Honey?

February 13, 2019
By

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As NFL Draft Approaches, Jets Fans Rev Up Cargo Cult

February 13, 2019
By

FLUSHING, Queens, N.Y.  The National Football League’s 2019 draft is two months in the future, but Bill Zawinooski’s eyes are looking to the past.  “For […]

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Mother of twins, gives birth to quadruplets…

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Freedonian Women Have Hit With “Songs of Romantic Remorse”

February 12, 2019
By

ZLOTNGYSBJZ, Freedonia.  This industrial city is often referred to as the “Liverpool of Freedonia” because of the number of famous musicians who have plied their […]

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When planning a romantic Valentine’s Day getaway, don’t forget to invite your wife

February 12, 2019
By

For years people the world over have sought my advice as a foremost authority on matters of the heart. Perhaps it’s because I’m half-German. Or […]

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That lengthy moment when you realize your dinner is in landscape but your fridge is in portrait…

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Valentine’s Day — Say It With Chickens!

February 11, 2019
By

At some point in the relationship, every man I’ve ever gone out with has looked at me sadly and concluded “You aren’t very romantic, are […]

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If you take Ross, remove his face, replace it with the face of Nic Cage and look at it, it looks more like Ross than Ross looks like Ross…

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Booting Up the Carpocalypse

February 10, 2019
By

Remember when cars didn’t have starters, and you used to have to crank them to start? Okay, neither do I. But I’ll bet a lot […]

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Valentine’s Day the Old-Fashioned Way

February 10, 2019
By

On Valentine’s Day in fifth grade, we remember sitting at our desks anxiously awaiting the distribution of cards from a shoebox wrapped in red foil. […]

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At Emma Goldman’s Anarchist Ice Cream Parlor

February 9, 2019
By

Anarchist Emma Goldman was co-owner of an ice cream parlor in Worcester, Mass. New England Historical Society Goldman:  “Make up your mind, I haven’t got […]

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How to Write and Share Humor
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