God of the Universe Next Door
Edgar Allan Poe’s prose poem “Eureka” suggests that if there are multiple universes each has its own god. Review of “The Reason for the Darkness of the Night” by John Tresch, The Wall Street Journal […]
At President’s Request, UFC Will Permit Eye-Gouging at White House Matches
For the first time in the history of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, combatants will be allowed to engage in eye-gouging during matches at the White House on Sunday evening. “President Trump asked us to do […]
Stephen Miller Jokes (Danger! Some of these are more warped than he is!)
What are Miller’s secrets to a good marriage? Make sure she is white, not bright, a pretty sight, she doesn’t bite or fight, she is of a lower height, weight-wise light, possesses no […]
As Sushi Spreads, Dinner Theatre Goes “Kabuki”
QUAD CITIES, Iowa. Sally and Jed Griffin like to think of themselves as cosmopolitan, even though they’ve spent most of their lives in the Midwest. “We lived in New York for a few years when […]
Ripping the Headlines Today, 6/12/26
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about gold bars stashed in an ex-CIA officer home, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new […]
Why a Pony is Your Best Investment
An 11-year-old girl created a PowerPoint presentation to persuade her parents to buy her a pony. The Boston Globe “Good morning, everyone, and welcome to ‘Investing in Ponies for Parents.’ I’m Caitlin, let’s go around […]
Cartoon: Mr. President, Please Put Down The Cellphone And Get Some Sleep
Written by: Paul Lander Artist: Dan McConnell
Your Food Freshness Safety Advisor
Have a question about a multi-colored piece of cheese in the fridge? Stomach rumbling from a heaping helping of leftover tuna noodle casserole? Before you head for the bathroom, ask Your Food Freshness Safety Advisor […]