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Fortune Cookie Math…

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Have A Trump-Free Day!

July 10, 2018
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Have A Trump-Free Day! It is time to institute a new holiday into our already heavily laden days-off agenda. (our brethren government employees always want more excuses for days off !) With the sudden stress that…

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Mom and Dad, We’re Taking Your Phone Privileges Away

July 10, 2018
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Cartoon by Isabella Bannerman “Somebody get the phone!” This was a common parental refrain around our house growing up. A phone call was important. It could be a family member stranded in a Buffalo snowstorm.…

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Injuries Few in Annual Running of the Cats

July 10, 2018
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Injuries Few in Annual Running of the Cats

SOMERVILLE, Mass.  When this suburb of Boston decided to become a “sister city” with Pamplona, Spain a decade ago, few realized what it would mean for the many cat-owners who live here. El gato de…

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Looking to get respect from your neighbors? Wrap your garbage like this and leave it next to the dumpster…

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The Diary of Donald Trump – unedited edition?

July 9, 2018
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Somehow, I got a hold of Donald Trump’s diary for the past week. It came in the mail via an anonymous source. So allow me to share: July 1, 2018 – oops, the jig is…

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“Days of Starch” Festival Celebrates Benefits of Carbohydrates

July 9, 2018
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KEOKUK, Iowa. This town of 10,780 in southeast Iowa proclaimed itself the “Starch Capital of America” in 1991 after a Parade Magazine survey found that residents depended on starchy foods such as potatoes, bread and…

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The Art of Trolling…

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Cousin William and King Henry VIII

July 8, 2018
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Cousin William and King Henry VIII

In the annals of English history, no other man had as colorful a life as my distant ancestor William “Bill” Tryer, who was the Royal Food Taster to King Henry VIII. The job of Royal…

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Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.

July 8, 2018
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Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.

  I wonder how long we will use “Einstein” as a way to denote someone who’s genius-level smart, or who thinks he is? “Well, you’re a real Einstein, aren’t you.” It’s mostly used sarcastically, or sardonically, or…

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Bacon Wrapped Shrimp and Sir Francis Bacon

July 8, 2018
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American Appetizer BACON WRAPPED SHRIMP INGREDIENTS 24 jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined 12 slices bacon ¼ cup brown sugar 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce no-stick spray SPECIAL UTENSILS 24 toothpicks baking rack cookie sheet. Serves 6.…

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Scooter & Skipper Hear an Alger Horatio Story

July 8, 2018
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Scooter & Skipper Hear an Alger Horatio Story

It’s finally summer in New England, which means that–much like the rest of the world–the days are longer.  We accordingly let the kids s-t-r-e-t-c-h out their bedtimes a bit, knowing they don’t have to get…

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Good Deeds Rarely Go Unpunished

July 7, 2018
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I have absolutely no idea what possessed me to volunteer calling Bingo again at a senior retirement community.  I had been volunteering here every two weeks for most of the summer.  Yet, there I was…

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I Beat a Gypsy Curse, and So Can You

July 7, 2018
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If my conduct in the case in question exceeded the normal bounds of professionalism, the circumstances provided an excuse. A client of mine had lent a significant–to him–sum of money to a little Greek woman, working…

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Jambalaya And Kick-Boxing Shrimp

July 6, 2018
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Cajun Entree CHICKEN SHRIMP JAMBALAYA INGREDIENTS1½ pounds chicken breasts or thighs ½ pound andouille sausage or Polish sausage 1 bell pepper 2 celery stalks* 4 green onions 3 tomatoes 1 large yellow onion 3 garlic…

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Running; something we all do

July 6, 2018
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As part of my marketing plan for the year, I’m always attending a number of local and regional networking events. Inevitably, when I meet someone for the first time, I’ll ask them not only what…

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The Founding Fathers and Fashion

July 6, 2018
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Men wore clothes that were as colorful as the ladies’ garb.  One male fashion  plate in New York ordered a suit of “superfine scarlet plush and a vest of light  blue splash.”                                                           What Life Was…

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Does this bug you?

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Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Reminds Vacationers, “Hey, Ya’ Got this Dog Here!”

July 5, 2018
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Dear Budleigh, I’m really looking forward to a summer getaway, but am worried about Hanover, our mixed breed “guilt hound,” who can’t come with us. She was a shelter dog, so I worry about boarding…

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Married Filing Joint

July 5, 2018
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The call starts out innocently enough. I’m a customer service representative with the IRS, and Bill Jones calls in to ask about the status of his mother’s tax return. Seems Nilda Jones died last year…

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Vows for Old Married People

July 5, 2018
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Break the glass, light the candle, jump the broom, drink the wine. There’s a magical quality to the marriage ceremony of young people. The white dress, the sacred music, the brides of another era dabbing…

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How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

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The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins
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