ARLINGTON, Virginia. A survey of state-wide ballot questions voted on yesterday reveals a nation deeply divided by partisan differences that nonetheless unite people with common viewpoints, or something like that. Tatum: “You have to ‘keep it simple, stupid,’…
CINCINNATI, Ohio. The two major political parties have chosen their mid-term candidates, but one unknown here says public disgust over the current contentious state of politics gives him room to run for daylight. “So many Democrats are corrupt,” says…
A Cambridge, Mass. man who has appeared on local cable access TV wearing a white brassiere filled with fruit is running for office. The Boston Globe Tomorrow–finally–is election day. It’s been a long time, but when…
In the latest craze to hit the horror fan crowd are Haunted Houses designed for very specific groups. Each is tailor made to scare the bone marrow out of their target audience- Gun Nut Horror…
HOXIE, Arkansas. This town in Northeast Arkansas is drawing an unusual amount of attention for tomorrow’s elections with the announcement by the Department of the Census that it has become the mean center of the nation’s mullets, a hairstyle that…
The recent Halloween holiday got me to thinking about horror movies: specifically, those that will appear in theaters in 2019. I emailed my one and only Hollywood friend, Murray the Mole, Bookmaker to the Stars,…
I must just look guilty. Judging by my many encounters with the authorities you’d think I was some kinda outlaw. But I’m one of the most law-abiding, upstanding citizens I know. Not that that’s any…
Here’s a typical conversation I get into this time of year with non-runners: “Wow, it’s getting colder outside now, I guess you quit running now?” “No, actually I just put on a windbreaker and go…
WASHINGTON, D.C. As voting day for a crucial and highly contentious mid-term election draws near, both Democratic and Republican party leaders are growing increasingly concerned that a third party, the Misanthropists, will hold the key to victory…
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything…
Do you know the distance from my house to the South Pole? Of course, you don’t. But I do. That’s because I recently erected a giant sign pole complete with weather vane in my front…
DOS FLEDAN, Freedonia. An American C-17 Globemaster cargo plane touched down on a bombed-out landing strip here this morning with the first shipment of leftover Halloween candy from the U.S., bringing sustenance to a nation that…
Joyce Eisenberg and Ellen Scolnic write, speak and blog together as The Word Mavens. As we waited in the airport for a flight back to Philadelphia, we glanced at our boarding passes and were pleasantly…
It all started very normally. It was a usual, quiet evening with the Rock Bottom Remainders setting up their equipment for another gig. OK, actually, the Rock Bottom Remainders are not really so very normal.…
As I walk down the streets of my neighborhood and look at the Halloween displays that decorate the lawns and porches, I’m struck by how trite and predictable everything appears. Tombstones angled crookedly out of…
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