Allergies Are Nothing To Sneeze At

 When I complained to my surgeon that I was still having symptoms of sinus problems, he stuck a big metal tube up my nostril and worked it around for half an hour. Then he stuck […]

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Old Firefighters Never Die: They Just Smolder

 So, I’m retiring. Not from my full time job of dispatching to become a Gentleman Author, as I wanted. (It’s like a Gentleman Farmer, a rich person who just farms as a hobby. No real […]

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Breaking Winds With Twisted Twisters

This week is Severe Weather Preparedness Week. Here are some useful safety tips from actual experts: https://www.in.gov/dhs/get-prepared/nature-safety/severe-weather-preparedness/    Some say the best advice you can give when it comes to tornadoes is to keep your […]

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Fifty Shades of Red SUV

 I kept a secret for half of last year, but now it’s time to let the secret escape. In September of 2016, our beloved Ford Focus fell victim to a guy trying to turn into […]

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A Toy Soldier Story

 As a kid, I had to use my imagination. No cable, no video games, no Anarchist Cookbook on the internet. If I’d tried to buy the ingredients for a bomb, the store clerk would have […]

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Stop the Snow

I hate winter. Well, only if I have to go out in it, or pay for heating the house, or if it’s winter. Otherwise I don’t mind. Anyway, parody songs are only good if you’re […]

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An After Christmas Ritual

(Bonus points if you can identify all the TV shows referenced.)              Santa Claus had this ritual, one he followed every year after he finished delivering gifts for all those little boys and girls. […]

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A Crisis Of Chocolate

Now, before you panic (like I did), keep in mind that this dire prediction has been made before. I even wrote about it in a past column. The prediction: a chocolate shortage. Okay, you can […]

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