Halloween Skull Meatloaf

American Entree HALLOWEEN SKULL MEATLOAF INGREDIENTS ½ cup bread crumbs2 eggs1 small onion2 tablespoons whole milk1 pound ground beef1 teaspoon ground mustard¼ teaspoon paprika⅛ teaspoon pepper½ teaspoon salt2 tablespoons ketchup6 slices provolone, about ¼ pound2 […]

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Frito Pie In a Bag and the Dawn of Humanity

American Entree FRITO PIE IN A BAG INGREDIENTS 2 green onions 1 pound ground beef 1 30-ounce can chili beans (no meat) 1 10-ounce can diced tomatoes and green chiles 6 1-ounce bags Fritos(tm) 6 […]

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I Solve the Speeding Problem

People drive like bats out of Hell. They don’t care about the speed limit. They don’t care about the law. They don’t care about the injuries, and sometimes death, they inflict on other drive drivers. […]

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Syrian Meatloaf and the Timeline of Everything

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Syrian Entree SYRIAN MEATLOAF(lahme bil sanieh) INGREDIENTS 1 tablespoon butter, softened1 large onion2 pounds ground beef1 teaspoon Aleppo pepper or black pepper2½ teaspoons pomegranate syrup*1 teaspoon salt2 tablespoons vegetable oil3 Roma tomatoes * = Found […]

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Pastrami Sandwiches and Impressionism

American Entree MATTHEW’S PASTRAMI SANDWICH INGREDIENTS 8 slices rye, crusty deli bread, or French rolls* ⅓ cup Russian dressing 1½ pounds sliced pastrami** 4 slice Swiss cheese 2 cups coleslaw SPECIAL UTENSIL*** aluminum foil * […]

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Brown Sugar Smoked Salmon and UFOs

American Entree BROWN SUGAR SMOKED SALMON INGREDIENTS 3 tablespoons brown sugar 1 teaspoon dill 1 teaspoon pepper 1 teaspoon salt 2 pounds salmon fillets vegetable oil SPECIAL UTENSILS smoker electric thermometer wood chips (apple, cherry, […]

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Buttermilk Ranch Dressing and He-Man Sophocles

American Appetizer BUTTERMILK RANCH DRESSING INGREDIENTS – MIX 1 cup buttermilk powder 2½ teaspoons dill weed 4 teaspoons garlic powder 1 tablespoon onion flakes 4 teaspoons onion powder 6 tablespoons parsley 2 teaspoon salt INGREDIENTS […]

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Marshmallow Fluff and the Birth of Impressionsim

American Dessert MARSHMALLOW FLUFF INGREDIENTS 3 egg whites ½ teaspoon cream of tartar ⅔ cup light corn syrup ¾ cup sugar ⅓ cup water 1 teaspoon vanilla extract SPECIAL UTENSILS electric beater (with whisk attachment […]

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Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Popper and the Civil War

American Entree BACON WRAPPED JALAPENO CHICKEN POPPER INGREDIENTS 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts ½ teaspoon pepper ¾ teaspoon salt 4 ounces cream cheese, softened 4 ounces diced, roasted jalapenos ½ cup grated cheddar cheese (2 […]

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