Smoked Ham Rub

American Appetizer



1 cup brown sugar
½ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon ground cloves
2 tablespoons garlic powder
½ teaspoon ginger powder
½ teaspoon mustard powder
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
2 tablespoons onion powder
2 tablespoons paprika
1½ tablespoons pepper
2 tablespoons salt
Makes 1 cup. Takes 10 minutes.
Add all ingredients to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
1) Idle minds often come up with great ideas such as electronic banking, air travel, and tacos.
2) Great artists take their inspirations from subjects as diverse as: portraits, urban landscapes, pastoral settings and bowls of fruit, particularly bowls of still-life bowls of fruit.
3) So it’s quite common and only natural to think how the great artists would have painted our tasty culinary creations. I’ve been wondering the same thing lately. So many great painters to chose from.
4) I channeled  Señora Magdalena Carmen Frida Kahlo y Calderón to help me paint my Smoked Ham Rub. She was a great Mexican painter renowned for her many portraits, and works inspired by the nature of Mexico.
5) Magdalena Carmen Frida Kahlo y Calderón (MCFKC) and I first tried using an Etch-A-Sketch(tm), but we couldn’t get the hang of that children’s toy.
6) So, I let MCFKC’s thoughts guide my paint brush. Here’s what we came up. I hope you like it. Channeling spirits isn’t easy.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.


Check out my novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback

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