Unicorn Bites 9/12/14

4-year-old daughter: These shoes are slippery. They make me fall. Me: Then why do you wear them? 4: They’re pretty. She’s already a woman — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 12, 2014 Me: I told you […]

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Unicorn Bites 5/10/14

My 1-year-old learned to say “help” and now she screams it at the store so people think I’m kidnapping her. Well played, kid. Well played. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 10, 2014 Nothing says, “I […]

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Unicorn Bites 11/20/13

Is it “for fuck’s sake” or “for fuck sake?” I need it to be grammatically correct because it’s my turn to say grace at Thanksgiving. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2013 3-year-old: […]

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