Unicorn Bites 5/10/14

My 1-year-old learned to say “help” and now she screams it at the store so people think I’m kidnapping her. Well played, kid. Well played. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 10, 2014 Nothing says, “I failed as a parent 8 to 16 hours ago,” like finding a Lego in my … Continue reading

Unicorn Bites 5/8/14

Priest: Do you take her until death do you part? Me: Unless she poops with the door open Priest: Me Priest: Me: Priest: Well obviously — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 8, 2014 Me: You look nice. 3-year-old: Why? Me: You’re cute in that dress. 3: Why? She over-analyzes everything. … Continue reading