Moravian Christmas Cookies, the DMV, and Murder

Czech Dessert MORAVIAN CHRISTMAS COOKIES INGREDIENTS 1 teaspoon baking soda 1½ tablespoons warm water 1 cup brown sugar 1¼ cups molasses ½ cup shortening or lard 4 cups flour 1 teaspoon cinnamon ¾ teaspoon ground […]

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Unicorn Bites #569

[in church] 4-year-old: *makes lightsaber noises* Wife: Stop. Me: I’ll handle this. *takes kid to the cry room* *has a lightsaber duel* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 23, 2014 Me: I’m 29. Do you know […]

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Unicorn Bites #567

Me: I love you. 4-year-old: Me: This is the part where you say, “I love you, too.” 4: I wish you were a kangaroo. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2014 4-year-old: How come not […]

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Unicorn Bites #557

Relationship status: I sent my wife a Facebook invite to a party in my pants. She chose “will not attend.” — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 11, 2014 Me: I meant to do that. Wife: You […]

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