Corona Shuffle
Who isn’t trying to take the high road these days? I think most of us are, just by getting out of bed. The fact that I live with someone is a very good thing. I […]
Tag: husband
These Boots Are No Longer Meant For Walking
I’m a city girl, as in The City, The Big Apple, New York City. He’s a western, small-town-kind-of-guy. I’m a Gucci-kind-of-girl. He’s always been a cowboy-boot-wearing-guy. And I don’t mean the fancy, handcrafted, custom-made, snake […]
Pumpkin candies are here!
Suspicions: I have a feeling my wife is out to get me. She was all of 39 years old when she decided she didn’t want to be 40. So she punishes me. What is she […]
Moravian Christmas Cookies, the DMV, and Murder
Czech Dessert MORAVIAN CHRISTMAS COOKIES INGREDIENTS 1 teaspoon baking soda 1½ tablespoons warm water 1 cup brown sugar 1¼ cups molasses ½ cup shortening or lard 4 cups flour 1 teaspoon cinnamon ¾ teaspoon ground […]
Flushing a Marriage Down the Toilet
A Japanese woman has been charged with attempted murder for slashing her husband’s face because he left the bathroom “stinky.” I’m not a marriage counselor, but I think this situation might have been avoided if […]
Unicorn Bites #570
Wife: How many beers did you have while I was gone? Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 25, 2014 4-year-old: You’re my hero. […]
Unicorn Bites #569
[in church] 4-year-old: *makes lightsaber noises* Wife: Stop. Me: I’ll handle this. *takes kid to the cry room* *has a lightsaber duel* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 23, 2014 Me: I’m 29. Do you know […]
Unicorn Bites #567
Me: I love you. 4-year-old: Me: This is the part where you say, “I love you, too.” 4: I wish you were a kangaroo. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2014 4-year-old: How come not […]
Unicorn Bites #560
Wife: Do I need to wear makeup today? Me: Nah. Nobody’s going to look at you Wife: Me: I mean you’re pretty without it Wife: Nailed it. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 14, 2014 /blockquote>< […]
Unicorn Bites #557
Relationship status: I sent my wife a Facebook invite to a party in my pants. She chose “will not attend.” — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 11, 2014 Me: I meant to do that. Wife: You […]