This girl kneels down in the confessional and says, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” “What is it, child?” “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.” The priest turns, takes a good look at the girl and says, “My dear, I have good news. That isn’t a sin. It’s simply a mistake.”

Share this Post:

Brian Kiley’s Twitter Comedy

HumorOutcasts.com is proud to present the tweets of comic and writer Brian Kiley. HOPress will be releasing two of Brian’s novels. First up is the re-release of The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins in February. Follow Brian […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites #567

Me: I love you. 4-year-old: Me: This is the part where you say, “I love you, too.” 4: I wish you were a kangaroo. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2014 4-year-old: How come not […]

Share this Post:

How to Grow Up to Be a Writer (Part One)

Breakfast… Most people forget it’s even a meal. Others preach of it’s importance. For me, it was awkward. See my father was kind of a man whore, who always left me to clean up his […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 4/7/14

My 1-year-old’s favorite game on my phone is the one where she closes the game & sends gibberish text messages. Now my boss thinks I do meth — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 7, 2014 Wife: […]

Share this Post: