I am a criminal and I deserved to be punished.

I am a criminal. I am a criminal and I deserve to be punished. My crime was heinous. I ask for no mercy. Were I to sentence myself, I would throw the book at me so hard that the book would leave a lasting scar to forever remind me of the atrocity I committed today. That I am allowed to escape without reprimand is a notion I will not entertain. I deserve to be made an example of and an example of, I shall be made. The next time I buy Jill Y a coffee, I’ll remember to get it with low-fat milk:


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6 thoughts on “I am a criminal and I deserved to be punished.”

  1. You mean, you didn’t buy her the wrong coffee just so you could watch her hair do that?

    It’s not a crime if you didn’t do it on purpose; it’s just a misdemeanor.

    If you did it on purpose just to see what would happen — THAT’S a crime. Jill may choose the punishment.

    1. I tried every defense imaginable and still the judge agreed with Jill Y.

  2. Bill Y,
    This is what my hair looks like all the time so I guess it’s because I don’t drink the right coffee? Jill Y and I need to talk.

    1. Your hair totally rocks Don Don’s. Please don’t drink the right coffee! 😉

    1. I tried to use that in the first trial but the judge wasn’t having any of it.

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