Happy Father’s Dismay
The world is against me. My son is approaching his teenage years — he’ll be 10 next month — and his friends are pushing me out of the center of his universe. It’s not fair […]
Tag: dad
How To Raise A Family Of Women
I’m completely screwed. I have three daughters. Besides the obvious joy that statement brings, it also means several other things: I have no hair, I’m never right, there will be three colleges, three weddings, and […]
How to Grow Up to Be a Writer (Part One)
Breakfast… Most people forget it’s even a meal. Others preach of it’s importance. For me, it was awkward. See my father was kind of a man whore, who always left me to clean up his […]
Unicorn Bites 6/26/14
Me: I’m vacuuming. I’ll close the door so I don’t bother you. Wife: Thanks. Me: *turns on vacuum* *takes a nap* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 26, 2014 4-year-old: How do birds fly? Me: Their […]
These dads need Father’s Day love too
Father’s Day comes once a year and gives us a time to celebrate the guy who donated his sperm, as if the act of the donation wasn’t fun enough. Many fathers get the love and […]
Unicorn Bites 6/13/14
Me: Do you want a ponytail for our trip to the zoo? 4-year-old: No. A lion will eat it. Safety first. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 13, 2014 I’ve done a great job educating my […]
Unicorn Bites 6/2/14
Me: Go to bed 4-year-old: But I have questions! Me: You’re stalling 4: I need to know! Me: What? 4: What if I meet a talking doughnut? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 3, 2014 Me: […]
A Catholic Kid’s Semi-Rotten Childhood III
My father was a sucker for a second-hand bargain. He was a smart, hard-drinking, gregarious, temperamental but soft-hearted, sensitive and very honest man who loved animals and trusted everyone. The two or three times he […]
Unicorn Bites 3/2/14
Me: Ow! Why’d you hit me with your fairy wand? 3-year-old daughter: It’s a lightsaber! I’ve never gone from anger to pride so fast. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 2, 2014 3-year-old: *takes 1-year-old’s toy* […]