Me: Do you want a ponytail for our trip to the zoo? 4-year-old: No. A lion will eat it. Safety first. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 13, 2014 I’ve done a great job educating my […]
Dear Lord, please explain to my aging grandmother that dressing her pet monkey as my lazy Grandpa Barry won’t get her the Two-For-One Early Bird Special Dinner discount, Amen.