Me: I love you. 4-year-old: Me: This is the part where you say, “I love you, too.” 4: I wish you were a kangaroo.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2014
4-year-old: How come not all milk is chocolate milk? Me: I don’t know. 4: The other cows should try harder.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2014
4-year-old: Why does Mommy love you? Me: Because I’m so handsome. 4: Lying makes Jesus sad.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2014
[at the grocery store] 4-year-old: I want cookies. Me: We’re not buying any. 4: *licks Oreo package* Well played.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2014
4-year-old: If oranges are orange, why aren’t bananas called yellows? Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: The naming guy got fired after his first fruit.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyrZqw5 5/28/14: pic.twitter.com/UGoREkoj7D
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) November 14, 2014