Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/9/22
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, even that about COVID on a cruise ship, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft […]
Tag: legos
Unicorn Bites #563
2-year-old: The dog tastes like dirt. Me: Don’t lick the dog. 2: He licked me first. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 17, 2014 Me: *reads classic children’s book “Are You My Mother”* 4-year-old: Is there […]
Unicorn Bites #551
2-year-old: I don’t want to eat my pork chop! Me: Name one thing that’s wrong with it. 2-year-old: It’s not pizza. Touché. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 5, 2014 500,000 teens followed a random Target […]
Unicorn Bites 9/12/14
4-year-old daughter: These shoes are slippery. They make me fall. Me: Then why do you wear them? 4: They’re pretty. She’s already a woman — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 12, 2014 Me: I told you […]
Unicorn Bites 12/27/13
I hate going back to the office after a long vacation. Or a short vacation. Or no vacation. Seriously, fuck work. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 27, 2013 Me: I’m going to spelunk […]
The Final Bastion of Manhood Falls….
I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a bit of a “Toy Whisperer.” I mean, if I had a superpower it would be knowing the perfect toy for each kid. Birthdays, holidays, elementary school graduations […]